Rediscovering Communication:
The Journals of Allihence and the Wild Ones
By Kalin Ringkvist
 
"One thing I can tell you is you've got to be free."
	-The Beatles
 
"We were born to be wild."
	-Steppenwolf



Translator:
Hello. My name is Translator, and I am the translator for this collection of journals. First I should stress that this is not an exact translation. To decide what to keep and what to leave out, I had to dig through almost a thousand pages of text, written in the language known as Fatheco Common, which in terms of pen-strokes is many times more efficient than the one I use now. However, the story is complete and should still read clearly, without too many obvious gaps. 
I followed the original text as closely as possible, but there were points where the information could not be duplicated. I often found myself wondering whether to concentrate on the facts and information or on the effect and emotion that Allihence and The wild Ones originally intended. At a few points I felt the need to recreate the original effect, and I was forced to come up with my own methods, instead of simply making a straight translation. When translating simple facts, generally 90% of the details are lost. Often the emotional effect is contained in the details. As a result, I feel myself almost as a storyteller rather than a simple translator. I know the whole story but there's too much to tell, so I must pick and choose which details to include based on my perception of my audience. 
Fatheco Common consists of 144 characters, each representing a unique sound, at least one unique word and a number. Each character has a variety of subtle inflections, which very often are difficult to interpret or communicate consciously. Most of these inflections have to do with perspective or emotion, and most cannot be translated without slowing the story and boring the reader. 
I have made one simple change to the language I am using now, and that is the addition of the gender non-specific personal pronouns, "pe" and "per". It's just easier this way.

Allihence, May 29
Hello. My name is Allihence and I am in process of insanity.
	Today was not a low stress day. This may have been the worst day of my life; perhaps the worst day of many people's lives. I think that if I ever had reason to believe this would not be the worst day of my life, I would kill myself.
	Today, shortly after noon, we were hit with the first meteor shower in over two years.
	And we received no warning. No warning whatsoever. 
	I'm in a cave on the north side of island Seneika. All around me is confusion and noise. The sound of the meteors outside occasionally drown out the screaming, the crying and the praying, three things I generally do not participate in during times of crisis. Right now I'm sitting, nestled between two rocks, with what papers I happened to have with me at the time the meteors hit. 
	I won't look up.
	This paper is my world right now. If I look up I feel the insanity will overcome me. 
	I will keep writing.
	This is the first page of my second book. My first book, containing more than two thousand pages of essays, articles, free writes, journals-boyfriends, broken hearts, town quarrels, wild animal hunts and general island adventure-poems, stories, and random junk, was inside my hut when the meteor shower hit. As my good friend Sturm has informed me, there is now a large crater in its place. 
	Let's think positive here.  
	This is the worst day of my life. It will never again be this bad. Period. 
	I'm starting a new life right now. My life was in those pages. Now I am dead. But I shall start a new life now... with this pen, this paper and these words. 

Allihence, May 30
I didn't end up writing much yesterday as we can see. Estanial showed up, panting and bleeding from the left shoulder. He stopped just inside the door to the cave, glancing around quickly.
	"Shut up!" he shouted. "Shut the fuck up! Your world is not collapsing."
	"How do you know that?!" someone shot back. "Where were the warnings? Where?"
	"Must we have warnings every time?"
	"Yes!" Siesu shouted, rising to her feet. "How are we to survive if we never know when the meteors are coming?"
	"We will know," he said flatly, confidently. "If the gods will not tell us, we will learn to figure it out on our own. But the gods likely will not fail us again. They're not perfect, you know, but they wouldn't just abandon us."
	The gods are not perfect. That's something we all need to remind ourselves.
	So in the moment that everyone quieted to ponder Estanial's statement, Zerimile stood. "That's right. Now is not the time to throw blame at unseen forces. We need a head count. We need to find out who's missing. We need to figure out what has been destroyed so far..."
	We didn't actually need to do all those things right then but it helped to keep everyone busy. 
	Zerimile recruited me to help keep track of everything. I wrote down names, took notes etc. It didn't serve much purpose except to distract me from the loss of my book (my life). I forgot everything but putting the words of my island-mates down on paper. I walked with Zerimile to each person, taking statements on what actually occurred during the time they were running from the meteors.
	So we managed to temporarily relieve the group's feeling's of abandonment, but I also ran completely out of paper.
	
	In the morning I returned to the clearing where I lived in a small hut near my good friends, Randil, Sturm and Libella, only to find all our homes under a deep crater. Before this I had held out some hope. Perhaps my papers were buried now, but seeing the ruins I could tell they could not have survived.
	So at this point, I cried. Being all alone made it easier. 
	After a time, I collected myself, borrowed some paper, and sat down to write this entry.

Allihence, June 9	
The carathlings showed up early on the morning after my last entry. They were ecstatic to find most of us still alive. They had lost all but one of their patrol boats, and more than half their entire staff. They told us they needed thirty-five humans to come to the mainland to be exchanged for goods. The meteor shower represented a serious loss for them and they needed to replace their boats and to restock our medical and educational supplies. They started picking people, seemingly at random but we refused to accept that. We greatly outnumbered the carathlings so they had no choice but to let us have our way. At first they didn't expect people to volunteer to be traded but we had all just watched our homes and our lives fall to pieces so there were a few of us who were willing to go with them. It took a few days for everyone to make up their minds and the carathlings were rather impatient but they finally got their thirty-five humans. I talked Sturm, Libella, and Randinee into coming with me to discover civilization. A few other of my close friends decided to come along. It took three trips and half a day to carry us to the mainland. On the boat ride they put us all in chains, which we were not expecting. They keep saying it's for our own protection, but that doesn't make much sense to me.

I've decided that I should put some kind of structure to my Journal. My last book was mostly just a little girl's diary-14 years worth of my life, scattered to the wind. That still breaks my heart. I guess now I need to move on and start something new. I'm going to write this like a story, because that's how I see my life now. I'm going to write this to someone who may decide to read about me, years after my death. I'm older now and I don't think I need all the emotional outpouring that would have been found in my old book.
I wrote my last book in an attempt to understand myself, and I believe that I succeeded. Now I shall write a book for others to get to know me. 
So I guess I should tell you who I am: my name is Allihence. I grew up on an island called Seneika, off the coast of Dilandi. I am what's commonly known as a free-range human, which from what I understand is fairly rare. We had the entire island to ourselves. Carathlings would circle in boats almost constantly to make sure no one ever left the island, but that didn't matter to us because Seneika was quite large enough for everyone-about 250. Carathlings rarely came onto the island, except to trade books, deliver a few medical supplies and occasionally take a cut of our crops, as we had more than enough to feed everyone. We had our own society, our own customs, and we educated ourselves. We hunted, fished, and farmed our own food. A free-range human is generally more sought-after than one raised within artificial walls on main land. We know how to survive in the wild and we're usually more physically fit and quick thinking.


Allihence, June 10
I had to pull some strings to get my hands on more paper for this book. Staningi-Fleigro, one of the carathling guards had a big stack of paper that he claimed was for official business but I asked him if I could have a few sheets because I was starting to get jumpy and irritable from not having enough space to write with. 
He stared at me a long time before answering. I was so nervous my legs were trembling but he didn't seem to notice. "Give me a blow job, and I'll give you thirty sheets," he said.
"Excuse me?" I said. "Are you being serious right now?"
He nodded slowly.
That threw me off a little. It seems strange to trade physical objects for sexual favors. What's the point? I was a little mad and rather disgusted, but I thought for a moment and remembered that civilized people generally either hate sex and think it's wrong or they attempt to buy it. These people are from such a different culture that it's sometimes difficult to even communicate with them.
"I don't think you want me to do that," I said. "I've had boyfriends tell me I'm not very good. I guess I can't open wide enough and my teeth scrape." 
"Never fear, I can teach you some better techniques."
So I attempted to distract him. "Why don't I lick your breather hole? Come here, give me your neck baby." I leaned close to him and flicked my tongue like I intended to insert it in the carathi breathing outlet on his neck.
"Get the hell away from me. That's disgusting."
I laughed quietly at his statement, as though he were telling me that asking someone of another species for a blowjob is normal. 
I was chained to my friend Mieschu-and still am-by the neck. The chain pulled taught and Mieschu made a choking sound, as Staningi-Fleigro pulled away, shooing me back.
"Sir," I said, about as politely as I could manage. "I'm just here for paper. Please. I just need to write something. I'm not looking for a sexual encounter. I know that you can spare a few sheets. For free? Just to be a nice guy?"
So he gave me six sheets. I suppose that's better than nothing, but I'll have these filled in three days even though I'm writing so small, so I hate to think about what I might end up doing for more. 
I think Staningi-Fleigro is pretty gross-not just because he's a carathling, and not just because he tried to buy a blowjob or just because he's civilized. He seems to be a little emotionally unstable. Right now I can hear some of the other carathlings making fun of him. I guess I'm not the first human he's tried to screw. Perhaps there are civilized folks who have natural attitudes about sex. Staningi is just-
We need to start walking again. 

We're stopped again. It seems to me the carathlings get tired easily. I wonder how much a carathi actually weighs down a human body... or perhaps they grow tired because they are civilized and not used to walking long distances.
I've been thinking a lot about Staningi-Fleigro and what he asked me to do. At first I thought I was angry and disgusted but now I realize that I simply feel sorry for him. If that's what happens to a person's sexuality when they become civilized, I think I'd like to live the rest of my life in the woods. 

Allihence, June 13
So here we are, sitting in a clearing, eating a root porridge that is simply dreadful, fifteen days after the disaster, still not sure what is to become of us. Mieschu is sitting to my left, separated by four feet of chain. My companions, Estanial, Schipponisa, Siesu, and Randil are also attached to my group. Randil is chained to a tree. I suppose we should appreciate that they left our hands free, but if we were not bound at all, we could be hunting along the way and finding something decent to eat. They gave us each four feet of slack, which they claim is more than average for transporting humans. I've been hearing rumors about how humans are treated in certain parts of the world. I hope they're just rumors. 
Reesana has been telling me a great deal about the geography of this area and last evening told me about another rumor of a town very far to the east, of humans who govern themselves and are never subjected to the carathi interaction. She claims that there are large sections of the world that the carathlings have not yet infested. Some of them are just a six-month's journey over the mountains. 
Hmmm... that's interesting... To live an entire lifetime as a human through and through... that's very interesting. 
Randil complained to some of the carathlings last night about not being able to run around and climb trees. "I like to sleep in the highest branches. I've been doing that since I was very young."
"You'll break your neck," Marthi-Ron told him.
"You're paranoid," Randil countered.
"We can't risk that kind of a loss right now. We need you on solid ground at all times."
"That's insane. I do it all the time. If you're afraid that I'll run away or something you can come up there with me and chain me to one of the higher branches. I simply want a pleasant night's rest."
"And have you hang yourself when you fall down? That's not likely to happen."
"You are paranoid," Schipponisa put in. "This isn't the most pleasant of trips for any of us. You could give us a little bit of freedom."
"I think you need to appreciate the freedom we have already given you."
"I am extremely unused to being chained to my friends for weeks at a time."
"Well, that's too bad. You have it better than-"
"Just let me climb a damn tree," Randil cut him off. "That's all I'm asking."
"No!" Marthi-Ron seemed a little aggravated at the moment. I think that Randil could have picked a better time to make his request. "I am the carathling. You are the human. When you become a carathling we will give you all the freedom you want but until we make a trade for you, you're staying on the ground and you're staying linked to your friends. Deal with it."
"I don't like you," said Randil. "I get an unpleasant feeling when you're nearby."
And Marthi-Ron slapped him across the face.
"Now I really don't like you," he said. I could see Randil considering his options for attack. Marthi-Ron seemed so caught up in his own quest for control that he failed to notice Randil's thoughts and didn't seem to care that Randil could step forward and do serious damage in a moment. 
Siesu grabbed Marthi-Ron's arm as he attempted to slap a second time. "This communication method is getting you nowhere. I think it's time you tried something new."
But Marthi-Ron almost seemed to be looking for a fight and continued staring at Randil, daring him to make the first move. Randil cracked his knuckles and I saw a grin cross his face just as Siesu stepped forward to stand between them. She moved close to Marthi-Ron, almost touching noses. "I said, it's time you tried something new." I finally had to move between them as well, before Marthi-Ron backed down and walked away.   
I only have a few inches left on my last sheet of paper. Hopefully Staningi-Fleigro will give me some more. Randil is asking me to let him write on the remainder of this last sheet... make good use of it, just in case.
Randil: I want to climb a tree tomorrow, during our morning or afternoon walks. This one is no good-that we're chained to. The six of us can climb together. I'll select a tree that has good handholds and is wide enough for all to climb with these chains. I'll clap my hands and yell "go" and everyone follows me up. We'll sit in the tree and say "fuck you Carathlings," then maybe poop on them.
Siesu: Too dangerous. If one falls, we all fall on top of each other or chain snags and we choke.
Schipponisa: We all know how to climb trees. Randil can pick a safe one. This is how we can protest these chains. Sit in the tree until they take them off.
Estanial: Why are we doing this? I guess they can't do anything to us if we do. 
Mieschu: Sounds fun and I'm in and now I'm going to play a cruel joke on Alli because I know how much she loves to write and this is her last sheet of paper and she's complaining about how big we're writing so I'm just going to fill it up with my inane ramblings so that I can say ha ha ha you're out of paper Alli, you're out of paper.  


Allihence, June 14
But I got the last laugh. Yesterday I refused to participate in the climb unless I got my hands on some more paper. There was no way I was going to sit in a tree for half a day without something to write on. 
I needed to convince Staningi-Fleigro to give me another few sheets, which meant I needed to butter him up a bit. I did not have a chance to talk to him in the morning as he was watching over another group, but during lunch he happened to sit against the tree that Randil was chained to. I had to make everyone move around so that I could sit down to talk to him. It's amazing how complicated things can be when you're chained to five other people and then to a tree.
"You look tired."
"I'm exhausted. We've been walking a long way. Aren't you pretty tired?"
"The chains are a little extra weight, but I'm doing fine. We could be making much better time, but I don't mind because it gives me time to write."
"I have a little more weight on me too." Staningi-Fleigro patted his stomach. "Yup, Fleigro, you're a heavy one." And he laughed.
"Am I talking to Staningi right now?" I asked.
And he really started laughing. "No, no, Alli. I am one person. I am not half Staningi half Fleigro. I've been a carathling for fifteen years. The human in me has pretty much disappeared."
"Disappeared?" I asked. 
"Gone. Bye-bye."
"Do you remember your childhood?"
"I remember what Staningi told me about it. He didn't stick around long enough to give lots of details."
"So he died?"
"Well... he sort of drifted off into nothingness over the years."
We heard Mieleen scream and looked up to see her holding her foot in agony. Shimli, who was chained to her right and usually walked in front of her, had been complaining about her stepping on his feet as they walked. So he had decided to enact his revenge.
I watched for a moment as they yelled at each other and as Mieleen pushed Shimli, I felt a hand on my breast, and turned to see Staningi-Fleigro rising, clinging to my tit as though he needed it for support, though my shoulder would have been much more practical, and easier to hang onto. He ran off to break up the fight. 
Shimli shoved Mieleen and she staggered backward pulling the chain taught. She gagged audibly, stood for a moment, rubbing her neck, then threw a sudden punch, connecting with his jaw.
Alane-Reinu slipped between them and they both turned their anger toward him. At first they threw a few punches, then Mieleen had the bright idea of grabbing his darts and managed to jab three into Alane-Reinu's back as Staningi-Fleigro and a couple of other carathlings used their own darts to take down both Shimli and Mieleen. Mandi and Mitheu were each hit once mostly by "accident" and they all fell into an exhausted heap a moment later. It's amazing to see how quickly the poison actually works. 
We moved the five bodies and gave them their blankets. They slept through the rest of the day and did not wake up until late this morning.
After this incident, all of the humans got yelled at for a good hour. Stin-Mirgi cussed up a storm, telling us all that they were carathlings and we are humans and we need to do what they say for our own protection... we have a timeline... etc etc etc... blah blah blah. We all found it quite boring and no one really listened but he continued on and on, screaming louder and louder about our disobedience. A few people attempted to point out the fact that our disobedience is a direct result of the fact that we are all chained tightly together. Give us a little freedom and accept our promise as honest creatures that we will not run away. This seems reasonable to me, but these ideas only made Stin-Mirgi more irate and scream louder.
After the lecture the carathlings decided that our groups needed to be chained to two trees instead of just one, so I spent the rest of the day and the night chained directly to a tree while Randil sat chained to another, twenty-five feet away and Mieschu, Estanial, Schipponisa and Siesu were stuck between us.
Staningi-Fleigro sat against my tree for a short while and I started to talk to him again. He was not in a good mood.
"This sucks," he said. "I am having a very miserable time on this journey. We've already lost so much from the meteor shower and now your idiot friends are putting even more at risk. We're making horrible time. I'm getting sick and tired of you humans making trouble for us. I'm sick and tired of eating the crap that we've been eating and I'm sick and tired of walking. Life sucks."
"Your life sucks, huh?"
"Life sucks in general. It's a widely believed fact."
"It does..." I said. "Well what could I do to make it better? Besides--?"
"Suck my dick."
"Besides that."
"That's about the only thing that would make me happy right now."
"Unfortunately you're not going to get it using that approach."
"You're not going to give me one?"
"Nope."
And he pulled out one of his darts, jerking his hand as though he were throwing it at me. I put my hands up to block and he laughed at me.
"Now you're really not getting one."
He played with the dart, flipping it in his hand a few times, then dropped it, snatching it up again a moment after it hit the dirt. He put it away and glared at me. "Well, what good are you then?" And he stood to walk away, but turned back and rubbed my head. "I'm just kidding," he said.
"I'm having difficulty communicating with him," I said to Mieschu.
"Yes," she replied. "He's got a few issues."
"I want some paper."
"Steal some. Or suck his dick."
"I don't like either option," I replied. "I like the first option slightly better than the second, but I don't know how to go about it, or how to hide the fact that I've done it. Someone's going to notice me writing."
"True. You could kick him in the balls and just take some."
"That's an option as well. I was also thinking that we could cut open his stomach and jab some of those darts into the carathi. Maybe we could see if there was any human left in him."
"Huh?" Mieschu asked. "I don't understand. I think you'd kill all of him if you did that."
It seemed strange that I would talk about gutting people. I've noticed the images in my head becoming steadily more violent. The tensions were rising, and certainly have not cooled today.
I stayed up late talking with Mieschu and I mentioned the carathling-free wilderness that Reesana had told me about. She had heard of it also. We talked of huge towns of nothing but humans, living in peace, free from the orders and confines of the parasites. That would be an interesting life, to never have to worry about raising a child within your own mind so that it can eventually take over your entire consciousness. I'm one of the oldest humans on this trip, over nineteen years, and probably have less than a year before I go through the changes... or forced through the changes if you want to word it the way it actually happens. 

I had some strange dreams last night.

In the morning I asked Staningi-Fleigro to simply give me some paper out of the kindness of his heart, but he replied, "Nope. You know my terms," and walked away. 
Normally I'm pretty good about concealing and redirecting my anger, but this time I felt like crushing his head with a rock, and Randil, Schipponisa and a few of the other humans seemed to notice this. Everyone knows something is wrong when Allihence wants to kill someone. 
During our morning walk Schipponisa asked Staningi-Fleigro to stroll along side her, and she asked him about changing from a human to a carathling, which he did not remember directly. She repeatedly asked to speak to Staningi, as though she did not understand that he was a single consciousness now. She was acting stupid but it made him laugh. He had a canteen of whiskey, which she encouraged him to drink. We were planning on being in the next town by this evening, where we would find out if we were to be traded or continue on to the next town. He had been rationing his drink but Schipponisa convinced him that he could pick up more in the evening, so he had a few good chugs while he walked with us.
I didn't talk much, simply listened and laughed at them. Staningi-Fleigro told some stories of his childhood, which basically were second-hand accounts, so they seemed very stilted. I began to get rather irritated with his bantering, and wondered why the others in my chain group were so interested in his conversation.
During lunch Randil slipped a pack of thirty sheets of paper into the back of my pants, and whispered, "Today we climb a tree when I yell 'go.'"
And so I nodded. At first I wanted to say, "make sure it's a tall one," but I remembered that it was Randil I was talking to. I adjusted the paper, which now fit tightly in the back of my shorts, and well hidden by my shirt. I looked up to see Staningi-Fleigro carrying a pack that hung half open off his back shoulder. As though through a psychic connection, he noticed it, almost thought to check if something was missing, then simply closed it, too drunk to care. 
The tree climbing deal went like clockwork... to start with. 
It was quite soon after we started walking that Randil saw a suitable tree for us. A sponge tree of all things. It felt as though it were placed in our path for just this purpose. Randil yelled 'go', and started to run, and we all fell into perfect step behind him. We surrounded the tree, and I climbed up directly under Randil. It made sense that I would climb last, taking the greatest risk of being hit with a dart. The paper provided significant protection for my back. But we took the carathlings by such surprise that we were all off the ground by the time they thought to put us down. By that point they may have seriously injured us. 
There were no branches for about twenty-five feet, so our chain did not tangle, but the lower portions of a sponge tree are much tougher than the upper, and more difficult to grasp. As we climbed, though, things got easier as our hands sank deeper and deeper. The carathlings attempted to follow, but amazingly were unable-or too afraid-to get past the lower reaches, and instead simply stood there and screamed at us. 
When we reached the limbs, the climb became less strenuous, but more complicated, as our chain tangled with the branches, and often wound up choking us. Midway up, we stopped to yell down to the carathlings. 
"Having a little difficulty there?" Randil yelled.
"You'd better come down here," someone screamed back. 
"Take off the chains!" we replied, repeating it several times. We heard a cheer from the other humans, but they quieted after more screaming from the carathlings.
"We have a timeline. We are already days behind schedule. We have had enough of your bullshit. The six of you need to come down out of that tree now."
"Remove the chains and you'll have your timeline and more. We do not want to run away. We simply want a reasonable amount of freedom."
"We're so close to town," they shouted back. "Deal with it for the rest of the day, then this will all be over. Come down now and you won't be punished."
Randil turned back to the rest of us. "They told me that the next town probably won't have the equipment they're looking for, and the chances are slim that any of us will be traded there. The next town is ten days away, probably fifteen at the rate we're moving. I'm not spending that long in these chains. We should climb higher and just sit until they give in."
"Argue with them some more," Siesu told him. "Maybe we can still convince them without getting out of earshot. I don't want to choke any of you if we happen to fall."
So they argued some more, screaming back and forth, but the carathlings wouldn't listen, so we climbed higher, until the tree began to bend. Soon it became almost a horizontal surface and we stopped. The tree continued to shift under our weight and we had to move back slightly, until we found a good balance.
A sponge tree makes a good resting spot, as you literally sink into the trunk, to form your own comfortable indentation. Certainly Randil had planned ahead for a long wait in this tree. We sat down and I immediately started writing, and here I sit now. 
Estanial made an interesting comment a few minutes ago, saying, "They say that everything you have done in life, all your goals and dreams and accomplishments, all add up to this moment. So here we are, sitting in a tree. Our souls have been roaming this universe for billions of years, and for some reason the six of us have all decided to come together on top of this sponge tree, and just sit here."
About an hour ago, as I paused in my writing for a few moments, I set my pen on the pack of paper in my lap, careful not to let it slip. I lost myself in thought for a few moments, until I felt something jump onto my leg. I looked down and my pen was gone. Several branches down sat a skinny and balding trail hog, holding my pen in his paws. He made two little clicks with his tongue, indicating that he wanted something salty in exchange for its return. Not having any food, I simply screamed at the creature and called it a bitch. 
Fortunately for me, however, I always carry a spare. I started writing again and simply ignored the little hog. The creature became frustrated, and finally crawled back into per hole. I continued to ignore per, thinking I could dig into per burrow myself to retrieve the pen, if we could distract the creature first. If not, I could find another pen in town in the evening.
The creature returned a short while later. This one seemed a little more daring than most. He attempted to steal my backup pen as I held it in my hand, but I saw per out of the corner of my eye and grabbed per. Pe squealed and struggled, attempted to bite and scratch, but I held per tight, and asked for a vote on what we should do with per. Siesu and I wanted to keep per as a pet, but decided that it would be difficult because we have no food that a trail hog would find tasty, and because the carathlings may have a problem with per. Also, the secretion from per fur, designed to restrict the growth of the sponge tree, was starting to burn my hand. So I snapped the creature's neck and we ate per. I dribbled a little blood on the pages, as I'm sure you've noticed. This is certainly not the first time I've stained my journals with blood.
The trail hog didn't provide much sustenance split between the six of us, but none of us have had meat in weeks, so we appreciated it. We dropped the bones into the camp below, which caused a great deal of laughter among the humans, but more anger in the carathlings. They seemed to realize they were not going to be able to starve us out of the tree, so someone picked up an axe and began chopping.
"I don't like this," Siesu told us. "We need to go down. I think we've lost."
"I'm staying," Randil replied.
"We're all going to die. We're pretty fucking high off the ground right now."
"We're in a sponge tree. It'll be a soft landing."
"I'm not sure if it actually works that way, Randil," Mieschu put in. "Ever done a belly flop into the ocean?"
"We can't go down. Show no weakness. I'm sick and tired of these chains. We're probably not going to be traded in town tomorrow, and I'm not spending another two weeks chained to you guys."
"I don't see how dying in a tree is going to solve anything."
"We're not going to die. The sponge tree collapses under pressure and is going to cushion our fall."
"You're not taking our height into account," Siesu countered. "I can barely see what they're doing down there. We're at the top, so when this thing falls, we're all going to be thrown out, and we're going to land on a rock, not on the sponge tree. We need to climb down."
"We can climb down half way," Randil said. "That's as far as I go."
So that's what we did, about a page ago. I found the hog's lair, and clawed my way into the tree, eventually finding his stash. I found my pen, but along with it, a handful of darts, and a whole mess of eating utensils, all perfectly enclosed in the ever-growing sponge tree. I took my pen and the darts.
"Now these are very interesting," I said, showing the darts to Randil and the rest of my chain group.
"Yes, very interesting," they agreed.
As we climbed down, I could already see the tree repairing itself, where I had dug. 
Now we're sitting at what looks like the halfway point. The carathlings are still chopping. It's taken some time, but I think this tree is going to go down soon. They look serious about this. 
I'm finding the situation rather humorous, though perhaps that's just my way of hiding from the fear of death. If one of us falls to the ground, while another is caught in the branches, we may both be strangled. A sponge tree, however, does have a great deal of give, and we're going to be falling into a slope.
Siesu is scared, and still wants to go down and give up. She doesn't understand the point of making this stand, and frankly, I don't either, but I have this strange feeling that it's going to be for the best in the end.
Randil is angry at everything right now. He's been good about not taking it out on the rest of the group, but it's getting harder and harder for him. We seem to be doing this for him, and his need to express his rebellion.
Okay, we're getting to that point. I need to put my stuff away and get ready for this fall. 
Let's see if we survive. 

Allihence, June 15
Immediately after tucking my papers safely away, the tree started to move. 
"It's falling the wrong way!" Siesu shouted. She moved, as though to scramble to the other side, but the tree tipped in the direction we had planned. Siesu found herself a little off balance, but the rest of us planted ourselves well. Randil took the fall standing against the trunk of the tree, and amazingly came out of it with fewer injuries than any of us. Several branches broke under our weight and we found ourselves piled on top of each other, still clinging to the upside of the tree. The carathlings climbed through the branches and grabbed us. We all found ourselves able to walk away from the incident. Estanial will have a limp for a few days; a branch cracked me on the head upon our landing, which is still making my entire consciousness throb.
Everyone needed rest after the ordeal, and the night was already headed toward morning, so we could not continue walking. Instead, the carathlings screamed and yelled at us for quite some time. 
They decided to separate our group. Now it's just Estanial, Mieschu and I, chained to a couple trees. Our hands are still free, strangely... thankfully. 
Siesu and Schipponisa, being the other two peacekeepers in our group are now attached to Mieleen and Shimli, in hopes that it will dull their fights a little. I can see them kissing right now. Hopefully that will continue for a while. I don't like seeing them throwing punches at each other.
Randil is chained to a tree by himself, on the other side of the camp, under close watch.
I fell asleep soon after the lecture. 
We got nothing for breakfast this morning, but managed to put in several hours of walking and now we're sitting just outside of a place called Hiskerville, which by my standards is quite a massive town. There must be at least three thousand people living down there. I can see horses, lantras, and I think those are dogs.

Allihence, June 16
As we sat on that hillside, Zerimile asked me, "Do you still have those darts from the tree."
"Sure do," I replied. 
"I've been thinking that those darts are really the only actual power the carathlings have over us."
"What are you suggesting?" I asked.
"We've gotta take the power back... exactly how we're supposed to do that, I'm not sure."
At that moment, Zleen-Dubi decided to wander over and sit nearby, so we had to stop talking.
It seems like we've all been thinking these kinds of things. Why is it that we've been putting up with these chains? We greatly outnumber the carathlings, and now we even have the same weapons they have. Granted, I have only five darts, and they have fifty or more. The poison may not be any good on mine. They probably sat in that tree for some time.
The carathlings have been very paranoid about our escape, and seem to be increasingly stressed about it. This gives me the idea that we might have reasons to want to escape. I've been told that humans in the cities do not have much freedom. Being free-range humans, perhaps we will not be able to get used to that.
I've had conversations with others who say they are becoming extremely sick of these chains. Siesu is afraid that we will all be separated in the end, some of us traded in one town, some in another. 
On our morning walk, Steener's group walked immediately in front of mine, and he started a quiet conversation with me about the history of our relationship with the carathis. Humans have been on this planet for two thousand years, claims Steener. The carathlings for almost as long. 
"At first," Steener told me, "Humans volunteered to play host to the carathis. It was only in the last hundred years that the carathlings took their power and have begun to raise humans like crops. Now it is required that humans give their bodies as hosts. It is simply expected of us. They still call it a symbiotic relationship, but the more I think about it the more I see them as simple parasites."
Mieleen and Shimli got in another fight today, over something that they can no longer remember. He threatened to punch her, and she took it seriously at the time and gave him a healthy sock to the face. He now carries a nasty bruise around his left eye. The carathlings decided to separate them once and for all, which did not make the two of them very happy.
"Why won't they let me see him anymore?" Mieleen asked me as we walked down a wide section in the trail. "I feel like apologizing. I don't know what made me hit him. I just want to go make up. That's what we do. Now they're keeping him all the way over there" --she pointed to Shimli walking at the end of the line, carefully separated from his lover-"Why are they doing this to us?"
"To keep the peace."
"So you're on their side, Alli?"
"If it was up to me, I'd let you do whatever the hell you want, but the carathlings are afraid the two of you are going to become really violent."
"Ba!" she said. "It's these chains, Alli. We're bound to get angry with one another, when no one has any personal space."
"Well, I don't know what to tell you," I said.
An hour or so later, as we sat for a meal of various roots and berries, my group happened to sit near Shimli. He seemed to be in strangely high spirits. "I'm in love with that girl," he told me. "She's got spunk. She's never hit me like that before." He lightly touched the bruised area around his eye and cringed. "I can't wait until this is all over and we can be together, and also have our space, just like normal people."
"Yeah, don't we all."

Allihence, June 21
Today, during our afternoon "meal" Stinli and the rest of his group found a patch of sapple berries. One of the carathlings warned them, "Those are poisonous. Don't eat those," but they ignored him and began munching. 
A few minutes later, I saw Mithi-Rast sprint to their side, "What do you think you're doing?" He grabbed the chain, catching Stinli and Marthus off guard. Marthus fell to the ground, in turn choking Reesana. 
Stinli turned suddenly and threw a punch at Mithi-Rast, but missed by a wide margin. "Why did you do that?" he shouted. "How could you possibly feel that was necessary?"
"Because I don't want to see you kill yourself. Those are highly poisonous."
"What are those berries called?" Stinli screamed. He stooped, and helped Marthus up, as she coughed, holding her neck, tears streaming from her eyes.
"I don't know what they're called."
"No you don't. You don't understand a damn thing. They're called sapple berries and I have eaten them on many occasions. I don't know what your problem is but-"
"How many have you eaten?"
"A handful."
"You need to make yourself vomit, right now." 
"Stinli's right," Marthus piped in. "I've eaten these berries on many occasions and I make it a habit to pay close attention to everything I eat and how it effects me."
"I don't know what's wrong with you," said Stinli. "Perhaps these are poisonous for carathlings, perhaps we have built a tolerance for it, or perhaps you are simply mistaken, but one way or the other, we are very hungry and these are very tasty berries. You need to go away and mind your own business."
And Mithi-Rast stepped forward, grabbed Stinli by the hair, pulled his head back and shoved a finger down his throat. Stinli gagged, but did not vomit. Instead he bit down and Mithi-Rast let out a scream, drawing serious attention from the other carathlings. Stinli kicked him in the shins, then went for his neck, but was almost immediately struck from behind with a dart. (They always seem to go for the back). He choked the carathling for as long as he could stay conscious, then slumped to the ground.
The carathlings surrounded them, picked up Stinli and herded the rest of the group away from the berries. Marthus began crying more openly, still holding her neck. I watched Reesana's chest rise and fall, as though focusing her rage to her breathing, glaring at Mithi-Rast so heavily that he cringed more from her look than he did from the kick to his shin. 
"How much did you eat?" Mithi-Rast asked, as he moved away from the group, carefully keeping a safe distance. "How much did you eat!?" A few of the other carathlings repeated the same question, but the group simply ignored them.
The carathlings wanted to get moving immediately after this incident, more than likely to simply get us away from the berries. "Someone needs to carry Stinli," they told us.
No one spoke up so they selected Randil, Faielus and a couple others. They thought for a moment, and finally agreed. They distributed Stinli's weight between five people. It didn't seem too difficult for them, but they complained bitterly. 
"They say jump, we say 'how high?'" Markull said to me.
I nodded. "That seems to be the pattern."
I watched Randil and the group carrying Stinli, and noticed they all seemed quite angry, but looking around the rest of our party, I did not see a happy face.
After walking for some time, Randil said, "Now we do what they tell us," and a moment later repeated it.
"Now we're under control," Faielus added.
"Now we do what they tell us."
"Now we're under control."
And they went back and forth, each time more melodious. Eventually they made a song out of their patterns, which at first angered the carathlings, but they seemed to realize that we needed something to release our stress. There are certainly more violent methods.
Later, as I sat writing this entry, Reesana commented, "Alli, you must be the only sane person on this trip."
I laughed. "That's not true."
"Who do you see here that you would consider sane?"
"I don't see anyone," I replied.
"But you seem to be doing so much better than anyone else," said Reesana. "I haven't seen you flip out on anyone yet. Isn't this driving you insane, Alli? I'm about ready to kill someone I'm so frustrated, but you just sit around like everything is hunky-dori."
"I focus my anger." I tapped these papers in my lap.
"That's all it takes to keep you happy? You just sit and write? I wish I was that easily amused."
I gave her a sheet of paper and my spare pen. "Here just try it. Write something. Get it all out."
She shook her head. "No, that's not for me."
"Come on..." I grinned at her. "You know you'll like it."
She smiled and nodded. "Okay, I'll try." And she took my offering.
But the tension around here is still rising, and things are getting interesting. I have a feeling our lives are going to become even crazier in the future.

Reesana, June 22
I've been thinking a great deal...
	Well, maybe others have been talking more than I have been thinking, but the idea has emerged that we could have a shot at making a  getaway, as a group. I'm not quite so sure about that... there's a lot of slow and lazy people in our group... well... maybe not as much slow and lazy as disorganized and uncooperative. I have a hard time believing that all thirty-five of us could come together to agree on exactly how to do it, and if we did, it would take a great deal of arguing first, which the carathlings would certainly overhear.
	However, if by some circumstance, we were to accomplish such a feat, even if only half of us made it, I'm semi-confident that we could find a way to stay safe from the carathlings. There's a lot of open space up ahead. Open desert to the northeast. Dense forest to the north--forest that is known to give carathlings a very difficult time in traversing. That might be difficult to hide there but there are strips of eitchu trees, which are plants that eat small animals to the northeast, near the desert. We could cross one of these strips and be reasonably safe from any of the carathling's track animals. We could swim the Poulisina River. Carathlings are not the best swimmers, and would have difficulty crossing. Those are just a couple of my ideas for eluding them after we've escaped. There's more possibilities if we chose to head to the south.
	Once we had waited out the winter and the carathlings had forgotten about us and given up, we'd head toward the pass and take the spring and summer to cross the mountains. It would be nice to get a real map somehow. If I had a professionally done map, I'm very confident I could navigate us over the pass without major problems. 
	Supposedly, on the east of the mountains there are vast open spaces of forests, prairies, and lakes. It's nowhere near the ocean like we're used to, but we could adapt and live as humans for the rest of our lives. There's a possibility that there are still free humans living there in small villages, still undetected by the carathlings. We could stay the way we are. It's mean as hell, I know, but they're being mean to us. It just seems to me that the carathlings have taken an unfair amount of control in our society, and by doing something like this, it would provide to balance the species more... I don't know.
	All of this, of course, is just a bunch of talk. It'll never actually happen, as we are simply too disorganized, and too afraid of the karma involved in denying hosts to carathi's in need. We're just not that cold hearted... unfortunately.
	It's fun to think about it, though. 

Allihence, June 25
Things have definitely become very interesting.
I'm sitting now, against a tree, with Staningi-Fleigro's head in my lap. Sturm's pants are tied snugly to his crotch. He's been crying for almost an hour now, though I don't see how it's doing anything but hurting my ears.

Stinli awoke after only a few hours. No one became sick from the berries.

Everyone seemed to be in a bad mood yesterday and the carathlings noticed that. Stin-Mirgi decided to try a different approach to controlling us. In the evening he stood to make a speech and attempted to play nice. 
"I know we're all having a difficult time here, and I understand that you are all very unused to the chains, but the fact of the matter is that they are absolutely necessary. If another carathling were to find you wandering alone, you could be claimed as their own. We've taken so many losses already, and we do not want to lose any more of you. We'd also like to see you given to decent people..."
His speech droned on, and no one seemed to care much, but we all nodded as though we agreed. Keep the peace is what it all came down to.
I noticed Staningi-Fleigro was not around. Probably still off searching for food, I thought. But then I noticed Sturm was also missing from her group, and for a moment thought that we must have forgotten her somewhere, or she had run away, but both of those scenarios seemed unrealistic.
Stin-Mirgi continued his talk, "...we're all very hungry and that's making us agitated, so please, we must understand that-"
And we heard a high-pitched scream from a distance. I assumed it was Sturm's voice, but it continued for a long time and I began to wonder how she could hold a note for so long. 
Everyone started running at once. I had to hop up, for fear of being strangled as the others in my chain group were quite excited to see what was going on. We plowed through the brush, following the scream, which continued endlessly. After a minute we came upon a clearing, and saw Staningi-Fleigro, with his pants around his ankles, holding his crotch with one hand. He gripped a tree with the other, so tightly that his fingers had already turned a bright white. A chain hung from the tree, two piles of clothing lay nearby, and a pool of blood was forming between his legs.
"What happened here?" asked one of the carathlings. 
Staningi-Fleigro looked up, ending his scream, but immediately began sobbing.
And I heard Siesu replace his scream. I looked up to see her pointing to a spot on the ground, several feet from Staningi-Fleigro's resting place. I moved for a closer look, as many of us did. I heard exclamations and more screams.
At first all I saw was a bloody spot on the ground, then I noticed Staningi-Fleigro's penis lying in the middle of the growing puddle.
"Oh, shit," someone said.
I seemed to be the first to realize what to do. I grabbed the closest pile of clothing, and applied pressure to his wound. Fortunately I did not catch a glimpse of his stump as he removed his hand. I held the clothing in place for quite some time, allowing Staningi-Fleigro to cry on my shoulder. Everyone else seemed to be in utter confusion.
"We need to bury that thing," someone said. "We should put him out of his misery," came another voice. Fortunately he did not hear that one... I hope.
He began yelling. "Sturm is out there. You need to catch that bitch. I want you to kill her. She needs to die, right now. Go! Someone catch her."
A few carathlings ran off in the direction that he pointed, and others screamed gibberish and ran around as though their heads had been chopped off. After a few minutes, people began to calm themselves. Someone buried the penis, now nothing more than a little, bloody, flap of skin.
"Allihence," Staningi-Fleigro said between sobs, "Will you stay here with me? Please? We can disconnect you from your group if you like."
I looked up at Estanial and Mieschu, and they nodded to me, wanting to move away from the situation. Already the carathlings that had not chased Sturm were collecting the humans and locking them to trees in another area, out of earshot from Staningi-Fleigro's cries. 
"I just want you to hold me, Alli." He pressed his head against my chest. "Oh, God, it hurts, Alli. It hurts real bad."
"I'll stay," I told him. "Whatever you want."
But several minutes later a couple carathlings returned. "We found Sturm," said Zleen-Dubi. "She's in a tree and won't come down."
"Chop it down and kill that bitch," offered Staningi-Fleigro.
"Alli, she wants to see you."
"Me?" I asked.
"You're the only one she's willing to talk to right now," said Zleen-Dubi. "She says you're her best friend. Can you climb up there with her and convince her to come down?"
"She needs to die."
"We'll see, Fleigro. We'll see," said Zleen-Dubi, though I could tell he had no intention of allowing Staningi-Fleigro to enact his revenge.
And he quieted for a few moments, a look of complete rage overcoming his features, though a moment later, returned to his sobbing. "Someone bring me my whiskey. Alli, I want you to stay with me."
"She'll be back soon. We need her for a short while." Zleen-Dubi unlocked my chain from Mieschu's neck and held it like a leash. Estanial and Mieschu immediately began walking toward the rest of the Humans. I pulled away from Staningi-Fleigro and as an afterthought, I kissed his cheek, though he didn't seem to notice or care. We both knew the feeling was quite artificial.
I followed Zleen-Dubi, who led me quickly through the brush. A few minutes later, we stopped and he pointed. I saw Sturm, staring back at us, perched midway up a balding tree, wearing no pants. She broke off a branch, and threw it at the carathlings standing underneath. They stepped back and she threw another, and another. "I don't know why I did it," she screamed. "I don't know. I don't know. Leave me be. I need to stay in this tree. If you come after me, I'm going to climb to the top and jump on that rock." And she pointed toward a boulder lying a short distance away.
"Allihence," said Stin-Mirgi as he noticed us. "Help us out. She wants to talk to you. Climb up there and talk her down. We don't want her killing herself."
I approached, making sure Sturm saw me and did not attempt to hit me with a branch. I climbed, then sat next to her, but she moved, climbing higher still, and I followed. We sat next to each other and remained silent for a period.
"So what's going on?" I asked.
"Not too much," she replied. 
"How are you doing?"
"Fine." She paused. "Sort of."
I waited a long moment. "I noticed you cut off Staningi-Fleigro's penis."
"Yes," she said as though from another universe. "I thought someone would notice that."
"Do you have a knife with you?" But that was a stupid question, as she quite clearly held no weapon and had no pockets to store one.
"I bit it."
"Hmmm..." I nodded, not knowing quite how to approach this. "What made you do it?"
"I'm not sure."
"You don't know why you did it?"
"We were just standing around. He wanted to have sex with me, and I'm not sure why. He wanted to real bad. I told him I'd give him a blow instead, and something came over me, like a spirit or something and I just did it without thinking. I must be insane, Alli. That's the only explanation. I'm a complete nutcase. I thought so before this whole adventure, then I think those chains just set me over the edge." She touched the chain, still dangling from my neck. "We've all been going a little crazy here, but I think I'm the first to completely flip."
"You seem okay right now."
"Right now, maybe."
And we sat silently for a time. I called to the carathlings below, "Give us a few minutes, please. This is going take a while." But they did not go anywhere. A few sat down to wait. I turned to Sturm. "How long do you think it will be before you're ready to climb down and talk to them about this."
"Probably a long time."
"An hour?"
"Probably a lot longer than that." She turned and stared into nothingness for several minutes. "Everyone knew that something would snap. We've been through too much already. Somebody was bound to do something crazy. I don't see why it had to be me. It was like a spirit overcame me."
"Do you need anything from me?" I asked.
"Could you fetch me my pants?"
I paused. "Actually, your pants are pretty bloody right now, and I would not recommend wearing them anymore."
She nodded. "I suppose I deserved that. Alli, will you stay with me up here for a while?"
"Well... I will if you want me to. I think I should go down and talk the carathlings into letting you sit here for a couple hours. Also, Staningi-Fleigro asked me to hang out with him, and I sort of told him I would. But if you want me to-"
"No. He's in more pain than I am right now. If he needs you, then you should go back and make sure he's doing okay. Do you think he's going to try to kill me, Alli?"
"If he is, I'll try to talk him out of it."
"I'm not sure how easy that would be. That man..." She shook her head. "I don't know. I don't understand what's going on. He just wanted to have sex with me. That's not so horrible. He wanted it real, real bad, but... I don't get it."
"People do crazy things sometimes," I said.
She laughed. "Not like this, Alli. Not like this." She sighed and stared into the distance. "Just stay with me for a few more minutes, then go down and do whatever you can to make Staningi-Fleigro feel better. I need to sit up here until my brain straightens a little."
We sat silently for a long while. "Nice day, isn't it?"
She nodded. "We're expecting rain tomorrow..."
And for several minutes we attempted to distract ourselves from the situation. Eventually, I climbed down. "Can we let her sit up there for a while?" I asked.
Mithi-Rast shook his head. "No, I think she needs to come down here and explain to us exactly what she thought she was doing."
"She went temporarily insane," I told them. "She doesn't have the slightest idea why she did it. She feels pretty guilty and is afraid it might happen again, so she wants to sit in the tree and calm herself before coming down. I don't think that Staningi-Fleigro is going to want to start walking today, so there is really no harm in giving her some time."
"Okay, we can give her a little time," Alane-Reinu said. "We don't yet know how we're going to handle this."
"We need to make her come down now," said Mithi-Rast. "We can't be willing to put up with this kind of shit."
"We're all trying to keep the peace here," Alaine-Reinu countered. "If she's really crazed right now-"
"But if we can't maintain a certain level of control and discipline, there will be no peace. She bit off his dick, Reinu. How can you be thinking about letting her get away with that?"
"I'm not," she replied. "But what are you suggesting we do, kill her over it?"
I began walking away, back toward Staningi-Fleigro. They watched me go, but no one followed. Instead, the carathlings remained under the tree to discuss their options. I pushed through the brush, alone and entirely unsupervised. Strangely, this was the first time in the trip that I could have simply run off without anyone noticing. While the thought of making a group escape has been coming up more and more frequently, making a solitary one never crossed my mind until I started writing this paragraph. 
I found Staningi-Fleigro lying a short distance from where we had left him. The blood had been cleaned and he was now tightly bandaged. He stared blankly toward the sky, before noticing my approach. His hand left the bottle of whiskey by his side, and he held it out for me. I took it, wondering how I could possibly be any comfort to this man.
"Are you feeling any better?" I asked, though that was probably a dumb question.
"Not really," he replied.
I sat next to him and put my arm around him and we just sat here silently for a long time before he started sobbing again, and I decided to start writing this entry. I ran out of paper about two pages ago, but simply took some from Staningi-Fleigro. He watched me do it, but didn't say anything. 
A short while ago, Sturm came down. No one is going to kill her, thankfully, though I don't think that option was seriously considered. Apparently they chained her to a tree all by herself and are going to leave the problem for morning.
Staningi-Fleigro is still crying. Everyone else is asleep, but I'm stuck here with this man in my arms, trying to be comforting but not knowing how. I think I'm going to stop writing and help him drink that whiskey.

Well, nothing much has changed, except I'm a little intoxicated now. I'm still trying to be comforting but it's getting harder and harder every moment.
Shut up, Fleigro. Just shut up. I know it hurts. We all knows it hurts...
Please shut up. Please. I'm going insane here. It's almost morning and you're still crying. I need some sleep.
Shut up.
Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutup shutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutup shutupshutup shutupshutup shutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutup. shutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutshutupshutupshutupshtuputipshipllopshuipopsoppps
Please?
Goodnight.

Markull June 26
	I'm becoming frustrated.
	That's what I have to say.
	That doesn't seem to cut it.
	I'm really really frustrated.
	But that just doesn't cut it either.
	I want to write about how frustrated I really am at this whole situation, but I just don't know how. Allihence is so much better at this stuff. Honestly, I don't know why she's so into this pen and paper thing. It seems to make her happy anyway. I, on the other hand, think this really sucks. I'm only doing this because I'm chained to a tree and have absolutely nothing else to do. I'd rather be digging a hole in the ground.
	But I'm frustrated. If Allihence felt as frustrated as I do right now, she'd probably be able to put it all down beautifully so that everyone else could understand and feel her pain exactly as she does. I can't seem to do that here. I know that you don't understand... whoever the hell you are.
	I talk to people about it, but the carathlings sometimes try to tell me to shut up. Tell me I won't get as much food if I keep talking about how horrible everything is. So I figured they couldn't yell at me if I was just bitching on this piece of paper, but it's not working because all I really want to do is communicate how frustrated I am, and I know that I'm not succeeding, and it's just making me more frustrated.
	I'm going to give Allihence her pen and paper back and tell her that she's stupid for being so obsessed with this type of thing.
	I won't use that exact statement though...
	I shouldn't do that... I'll just give back her stuff and say it didn't work out for me.
	I just don't see the purpose. If you can talk about it that's so much better. It's more direct, and you get more than just your own opinion. This just seems so pointless.

	By the way: the tree-climbing thing was an idiotic idea. I knew the moment they started up that tree that it was just going to make things harder on everyone. If we're going to do something about this... I mean more than just whine and complain, it needs to be everyone together.


Allihence, June 26
I think that Staningi-Fleigro saw what I had been writing just before I put my book away, as he attempted to quiet himself. We finally fell asleep about an hour later.
Everyone seemed quite exhausted and dispirited in the morning. Sturm and I were so tired we could barely walk. Someone built a stretcher for Staningi-Fleigro and the carathlings ordered a few of the humans to carry him. 
I made the request to be chained to Sturm for our morning walk. I had not been of any emotional support to Stumpy (Sorry, that's a cruel thing to call him), but perhaps I could to Sturm.
"Are you feeling any better?" I asked.
"Tired," she replied. "I'm not insane any more. I feel guilty, if that's what you're asking. I keep thinking about the whole situation. It felt so strange to me. I've never had anyone try to do that to me, much less a carathling." She shook her head and laughed. "I would apologize to him, but something in my heart told me to do it, and I don't know how to explain that to him, and I don't know what good an apology could possibly do for him right now."
We walked silently for a time, then somehow found ourselves talking of other things. I think I managed to distract her for a time. We even giggled once in a while. I was still a little inebriated and Sturm was already suffering from sleep deprivation, as the carathlings had chained her standing up after she came down from the tree, and she had not slept well the night before that. 
We took a break in the afternoon to eat what little food we could scavenge around the immediate area. I am still disgusted at how inefficient these chains are making us at everything from walking to finding food to communicating. 
Markull refused to continue carrying Staningi-Fleigro. He had been whining constantly, so he said. "Fuck you. I won't do what you tell me," I heard him chanting from the distance. Several others began chanting with him, as they had been subjected to his sobbing as well. The carathlings became quite angry at this, and Staningi-Fleigro began shouting for his whiskey.
I moved carefully closer, keeping Sturm behind me, as everyone wished her to keep her distance.
"You're going to want it for the evening, when you need to get to sleep," said Zleen-Dubi.
"I'll want it then, but I want it right now too, so bring it to me," replied Staningi-Fleigro. "I don't care if we sit here for a while and let their arms rest. But I need a drink."
"I won't get it for you." Zleen-Dubi shook his head. "If you drink it now you're going to regret it tonight. You'll fall asleep in that stretcher, then keep us up all night tonight." 
"Fuck you," replied Staningi-Fleigro. "I'll get it myself." And he rose, slowly, wincing, and waddled toward Marthus, who had been carrying his pack for him.
"Don't give it to him," called Zleen-Dubi. 
"Don't worry, I won't," said Marthus.
A moment later Zleen-Dubi caught Staningi-Fleigro by the shoulder and turned him around. "You don't have much left, Fleigro. You need to think about how you're going to feel later,"
And Staningi-Fleigro attempted to throw a punch, but was so off balance and weak that it turned out as a joke. He almost fell to the ground, but Zleen-Dubi caught him and led him back to the makeshift stretcher.
"He can walk fine," said Markull. "I'm not carrying a damn thing for you people any more."
Marthi-Ron stepped forward and shoved him. "You're not making anything easier. You don't want to carry him. Fine. Don't be an asshole about it."
Markull sighed. "Could I be unlocked from this group?" he asked, trying to mask his frustration. 
So the four who had been carrying Staningi-Fleigro refused to continue and were replaced with a few volunteers. At first it looked like no one would, and I thought for a moment that the situation would turn into a giant shouting match but apparently everyone was too exhausted to fight with each other. Schipponisa, Libella and Randinee volunteered, and I decided to join them as I felt rather guilty for drinking so much of Staningi-Fleigro's juice. 
In the evening, I happened to sit next to Zleen-Dubi. From our position we could see Staningi-Fleigro lying on the ground at one end of the camp. At the other end we could see Sturm, standing about ten feet from a tall tree, her arms raised above her head. A long chain linked them over a branch.
"I'm wondering," I started, looking at Alane-Reinu. "You guys seem to be rather tolerant of Sturm's behavior. She did something pretty violent, and no one has even tried to make her feel guilty about it. You're making her lose sleep over it, but that's all. I'm not saying you need to go take revenge on her her, but I'm curious as to why everyone seemed to be so angry when we committed lesser acts of disobedience?"
She sighed. "What we do to her now isn't going to change what happened and what we still have to deal with." She stared at the ground for a long while. "Alli, has anyone ever forced you to have sex with them?"
"No," I replied. "What do you mean? How could someone do that? Like, make me change the thoughts in my head so I do something I don't want to do?"
She shook her head. "I'm not talking about magic. I'm talking about physically being held down and having a dick stuck in you by simple brute force."
That caught me by surprise. "That's ridiculous. What could the point be?"
"I don't know. Staningi-Fleigro seemed to like the idea."
At the time I could not believe what I was hearing, but now that I've had a day to think about this, I realize that it must happen frequently in civilized areas, and I've begun to feel a little apprehensive about being brought into such a place.
"It happened to me, when I was a human. I actually have a fairly vivid image of the incident. I remember going a little nuts too. I didn't know what was going on, either. Now, this organization has a policy that guards shall not have sex with a human unless the human initiates the encounter. Forcing a human seems to cause problems down the line. Very often they will have difficulty trusting carathlings or carathi's in general. I've heard of instances when the human body would somehow kill the carathi, during the hatching process. Staningi-Fleigro broke the rules. I'm not saying it was acceptable for Sturm to do what she did, but we do have those rules for a reason."
So now I have a much clearer image of what happened. I think now that if that happened to me, I might very well trip out in a very similar way.
I had difficulty sleeping last night, and had some very strange and intense dreams. I woke up once very late and found the moons to be just bright enough to see around the entire camp. I drank some water and noticed that all three carathling guards had fallen asleep. I watched Sturm for a long while as she stared up at the branch and her chains. She glanced around repeatedly at the guards. I continued to watch, as it seemed like she might be up to something, but I could not tell what.
After a couple minutes, she bent her knees the short distance the chains would allow, and leapt, grabbing the chains. She pulled herself up, then flipped her body into an upside down, almost vertical position, and grabbed the branch with her feet. Her hands then hopped up the chain. She clutched the limb for a moment, climbed atop and rested. 
I felt like giving a standing ovation, but of course that would have defeated the whole purpose. 
A minute later she began inching her way out onto the limb. It started to sag, and she slowed even more, but continued until it seemed ready to break. She straddled the limb and began swinging the chain below her, finally flipping it around the end of the branch and catching it in her hands. I heard a tiny clinking, but otherwise she had deadened the sound. She grasped the limb and let her legs drop, hung for a split second, then dropped to the ground, rolling onto her side, curled, and seemed to fall asleep on the spot. 
In the morning I awoke to see Sturm chained to another group, like nothing had happened. 
The rest of the day has been a little boring. It's evening now, about time for bed, but I'm still pretty hungry. 

Allihence, June 28
We've been quiet today. Even little Schlevvy has kept his mouth shut the entire trip. Normally he takes any opportunity for a cheap laugh, but today walked with his head hung, and refused to pay attention to anyone.
Staningi-Fleigro ran out of whiskey last night. He had enough to fall asleep, but he's going to be miserable tonight. He stayed fairly quiet today, as I think he's realized how irritating it is to have to listen to his constant whining. I could tell that he was having difficulty holding it back. 
I feel pretty guilty about drinking so much the other night. I should have realized that he would need that. 
I can see him sitting not too far away, draped against a tree, head slumped to the side. He's been staring at the same spot on the ground since we stopped walking for the day. He's thinking about his whiskey.
Well, Fleigro, I'm not going to apologize to your face, but if your soul is reading this right now, then I'm sorry. I'm really very quite sorry.
I think I just realized how exhausted I am.

Allihence, June 29
So things have gone from bad to worse.
I woke up late this morning. I felt refreshed, ready to go, and actually told myself that today was going to be a good day. 
The carathling's on food duty brought in a good haul. They had found a pond with a patch of bottom-strawberries. They came back dripping wet and shivering, but appreciated. 
Nearly half the party was awake and distracted by the sweet berries before someone noticed that Staningi-Fleigro was missing. The stretcher was lying just where we'd left it, though someone noticed that one strap was missing. His pack lay a short distance further. A few carathlings began searching, wandering casually into the woods, shouting his name. 
Twenty minutes later they came wandering back, one by one, shrugging. "It's just one damn thing after another," commented Mithi-Rast. "Setback after setback. We should have been on our way back to Mirani long ago."
"You'd think with all of Staningi-Fleigro's bitching and moaning, we'd have heard him by now," said Stin-Mirgi.
"He was quiet enough last night," Alane-Reinu pointed out.
"He got sober and learned how to shut up."
"Has he been gone all night?" asked Mithi-Rast.
No one had an answer.
"Shit. We'd better send out a bigger search party."
The second search took even longer, but eventually we heard yelling from a spot not too distant. Zleen-Dubi returned several minutes later, looking a little pale, and said to the immediate group, "Well... Staningi-Fleigro is dead." He paused and stared at the ground. "He killed himself. Poor bastard couldn't handle sobriety, I guess." (That was not what I needed to hear right then.) "We must have walked past the spot a dozen times before seeing him hanging there."
My heart started pounding and I sat down to think. I've had a pain in my gut ever since. I sat there for an indeterminable length, letting my mind go blank or tripping on the guilt that is still pounding on my brain.
Eventually, Mithi-Rast came back into camp. "We need some people to help bury the body. Markull, Randil..." He fetched the two shovels that we had brought.
"I'm not feeling up to this," Randil replied slowly upon Mithi-Rast's return. 
"Well you need to do it. I'm not in the mood for arguing at this point."
"Fuck you. I won't do what you tell me. I'm tired."
"Don't start this again." He looked down, toward Markull who sat, shaking his head in refusal. Mithi-Rast yelled, "We are not having a good day here," and threw the shovels to the ground between the two men. "You need to do what I fuckin' say-"
I noticed Randil's eyes stray toward the shovel and something told me that this would be the start of another healthy fight if I did not do something, so I stood and screamed over Mithi-Rast, "Hey! Shut up. Shut up. I can dig."
For the first moment, everyone looked at me like I was nuts, but then simply shrugged. And the bickering ended, almost like magic. Soon after, Mitheu volunteered to help. The carathling's unlocked us from our groups and took us into the woods, a surprisingly short distance.
They had already covered the body with leaves, so I don't have any gory details. We started digging and had a reasonable hole done in what seemed like just a few minutes. We offered to push the body into the hole but the carathlings decided that they should finish the job.
We were led back to the camp, and I made the request to be attached to Sturm, instead of my usual group. We didn't say much for the next couple hours; in fact the entire camp seemed almost silent. I tried writing, but for the first time in years, I found myself blocked.
"I feel like we should leave," Sturm said as I put away my blank paper. "All of us could just walk away from here. Reesana and Randil and several others have been talking about the idea. I think I just decided to follow their lead. I've already killed one carathling-in spirit anyway. I may as well commit another sin and deny another carathi a host. Do you think I'm nuts, Alli?"
"Reesana has presented some interesting ideas of where we could go after we make our escape," I replied. "There are large unpopulated regions to the east, that we could follow. She claims there is at least one large village, far to the east, over the mountains, where only humans live. The idea has actually been rather intriguing to me. I happen to have a stash of darts that look exactly like the ones the carathlings are carrying. I wouldn't know if the poison is still active, but you never know."
"We should test one. Stab me."
I laughed, and a moment later we stopped talking.

Author Unknown, June 30
So I'm thinking of a plan... 
	If we were to do this, we would simply need to induce chaos and then run. We could all pick a leader to select a specific time. It would need to be someone who knew what they were doing. Someone patient and a good eye. Pe'd have to keep an eye open all day for possibly a week. Don't vote for anyone lazy or that you wouldn't trust your life with.
	Anyway, that person should yell "Har shleppy de foo" at the perfect moment, then everyone begins the chaos. 
	Why "har schleppy de foo"?
	Because that is what I have decided.
	Individual groups will need to come up with their own ways to cause chaos. Throwing clumps of dirt, hitting them in the faces with sticks--I don't want to promote violence here. Nothing that could crack a skull. If we break their noses, they'd be far less likely to pursue us, but we shouldn't risk seriously injuring them in our escape. We should all try to yell "har schleppy de foo" as much as possible, so they don't know what's going on. 
	Since we're chained together in sets of six, we'll need to keep a single file as we're running. That will probably be the trickiest part of this whole maneuver. Decide ahead of time which end will lead. Then everyone needs to practice running with their group, but be subtle about it.
	I repeat: be subtle about it.
	We should all collect pieces of bark or papers or something to stuff in the back of our pants to protect our lower back... and if anyone can think of something to protect even more of our bodies, that would help tremendously. Again, be subtle about it. We'll probably need to wear our protection for extremely long periods of time.
	I should correct myself: the trickiest part of this whole maneuver will be keeping our mouths shut ahead of time, and not doing anything stupid to catch the carathling's attention. I don't want anyone talking about this aloud, unless everyone is absolutely certain that no carathling could possibly hear. It's best not to talk at all.
	Okay, everyone, good luck and have fun.

	Hey, Allihence: I'm going to give this paper to you first. Please look over it and make sure that I have not given any hints as to who I am. Then give your stamp of approval and pass this paper around. Everyone must agree on this and make a mark on the page. If someone does not agree, we must talk to per until pe does.

Allihence: Looks like you've covered all of your holes. I can tell who you are, simply because I recognize your writing, but no one else will, and you can trust me to keep my mouth shut. As for the idea... well, I'll go along with it if everyone else does. That's as strong a statement as I care to make at the moment. But if we decide to go along with it, I'll be giving %110.

Allihence, July 4
Just for dramatic effect, I'm not going to tell you where I am or what's going on around me. 
I haven't written much these last few days as a great deal has been happening and I worried that one of the carathlings would get their hands on this book. The idea of the escape spread quickly, though I think the idea originated in more than a few people. Doumli took a leadership role, and seemed to convince just about everyone in less than eight hours to go along with a plan to simply run at a specific moment. Faielus and Randinee each took a dart to use at the magic moment. Randil and I each kept one for ourselves, though we were not confident that the poison would still be active. If nothing else, they would be a good distraction.
We spent almost two days collecting strips of bark to place under our shirts as armor. I noticed a few people squirming and itching yesterday, and by the end of the day, I couldn't imagine how the carathlings had not noticed anything out of the ordinary, as everyone seemed uncomfortable, especially the young kids, though Schlevvy seemed as chipper as usual if not more so. At one point, while the carathlings were not looking he rolled around on the ground, rubbing the bark on his back, pretending it felt like a massage. We appreciated his attempt at distracting us, but now he's probably got rashes worse than any of us.
Our intent was to wait to Poulisina River to make our escape so that we could follow it north to cover our tracks and hopefully find the pass located between the two forks that would take us over the mountains.
However, things did not work as planned. 
Ever since we climbed that tree, I have been keeping my journal in the back of my pants, just as everyone else had placed strips of bark. I realize now that I should have kept it out until the last moment. 
"I haven't seen your papers," Zleen-Dubi said as we walked, just trying to make conversation. "I thought you liked to write every day."
"I haven't been feeling up for it lately," I replied. 
"Well, maybe you should let me read some of what you have so far. I've been curious about your stuff."
I shrugged. "Well..."
"Come on," he said. "You let everyone else see it."
So I pulled it out. I didn't know what else to do. I didn't think that he would notice the strategy behind its placement.
"Why do you keep it there?" he asked.
And my heart started to pound. "Now there's a question... tell me if you like what you read..." I didn't know what to say. 
He took the papers and seemed to be reading them as we walked. I watched him closely. He looked up frequently, though I could not tell if he was checking us out or simply trying to divide his attention between the path and my stories. Eventually he stopped reading, carrying my book in one hand hanging at his side, and seemed to be watching Libella who walked just in front of us. I saw his face contorting in questioning looks. Finally, after about ten minutes, he simply stepped forward and slapped her on the back.
"What the fuck is this?" and he lifted her shirt. "Is this the new fashion?"
So we were found out, but I didn't waste any time taking the initiative to make up for the mistake. I snatched my papers from his hand, which startled him a bit, and screamed "Har schleppy de foo!"
I waited several moments to make sure my call would be repeated. I made eye contact with Zleen-Dubi, for several seconds as his jaw dropped in a look of utter bewilderment. Down the line, many more announced their intention to initiate the escape plans, and from that point there seemed to be nothing but confusion and insanity. 
I snatched the dart from my pocket and stuck it deep into Zleen-Dubi's back. His eyes widened, but I did not wait to see if the poison was effective. I felt the pull on my neck, but instead of being choked, I simply turned and let it pull me toward the north. It seemed like it should have caught my neck and forced me to the ground, but I suppose that in situations like that, your body tunes itself and plans in ways we cannot possibly understand.
And we ran. Sprinted would be a better term. Luckily the vegetation was not dense in this area and no one found themselves tangled with trees. I remember the experience now as being a jumble of high-speed pictures. Trees, feet, logs, feet, legs, leaves, bushes, trees, feet. I watched Reesana closely as she ran directly ahead of me, almost timing my steps with hers. 
A carathling caught up to my group. I didn't register who it was in all the confusion, but I rolled up my book and swatted him in the face as he tried to reach for me. He fell behind quickly, and our group did not see another serious problem. 
We ran until people were panting from exhaustion. After that we jogged. We stayed fairly close. After we slowed our pace I could look around and count the groups. It took me some time, but I counted everyone. A few had been hit with darts and were still being carried, but everyone had made it. 
After traveling what many of us feel was about twenty kilometers, we stopped in a rocky gully... and here I sit now.
There's a waterfall to my right...
Everyone is trying to break their chains with rocks. We've had a few successes, but many have been beating on them for an hour. A few of us are worried that we'll attract attention. Could the carathling's have followed us this far?
Anyway, we're free now. I don't quite know what that means, but we are free.

I put this book away after finishing the last sentence and started banging rocks on my chain, without much success. A few moments later, Doumli wandered near my seat. His chain already broken, he was one of only three who were entirely disconnected from everyone else. 
He clapped his hands. "We need to move. Now. We're getting far too loud, and we've been here far too long. Carathlings travel long distances more steadily than we do, and if we don't keep up a pace or find some place to hide, we're all going to be caught. Let's go." He waved his hands. "Everyone get up, it's time to go."
But no one moved. A few stopped banging their rocks to look at him.
He motioned angrily, but remained ignored. "Let's go damnit-"
"Have you been elected leader?" asked Zerimile. "...then shut up. The chains are more important right now. We don't stand a chance when we're all bundled together like this."
So Doumli backed down. He sat for a while, looking nervous, then wandered away. Meanwhile I pounded on my chain again, and again, and again, until my hands were sore and blistered, but still had no luck.
Marthus who had been pounding away nearby suddenly began looking around our area. "Where is my son?" she asked. A moment later she stood. "Has anyone seen my son, Eistee? Where the hell did he go to? He was tied to Randil and Gidemede? Where are they? I don't see them anywhere." She stopped, and I saw her lips moving rapidly, as though reciting a personal chant. 
It seemed as though everyone were growing antsy and distressed.
The problem was that no one knew for sure where the three had gone. Someone claimed they had seen them wandering away from the river, which scared her even more.
 "I need to go looking for them," she said.
But the rest of her chain group disagreed. "Sorry," said Zermimile. "I think I'm getting close to breaking this one. Randil's not an idiot. He'll take care of those kids."
She stopped banging her rocks for a time. "He'll probably drag them up a tree, and let them break their necks... but if one falls they all fall... Doumli, will you go looking for them?"
"What?" he looked up and I could tell that his gut reaction was to argue, and tell her she was overreacting, (which she was) but he paused and finally got up. "Okay," he said. "Which way did they go?"
He headed off and Marthus went back to pounding, but a few moments later, stopped and proceeded to sit and worry. She looked around constantly but only voiced her concern a couple times. Stinli told her she was simply being paranoid, but that only eased her concern for a short time. 
I wanted to talk to her for a while, because I do feel she's being slightly overprotective, and think I could have eased her worry by mentioning that, but I had started thinking about what I had done to Zleen-Dubi. I'm wondering now if I stabbed that dart too far into his back. If I hit the carathi inside of him, I might have killed him. It's unlikely, but not impossible. 
We were a day away from any sort of civilization. I've heard a few stories about other violence that we committed during our escape. I hope the carathlings are receiving medical attention by now.
Doumli returned a while later.
"I found them," he said, grinning, the ends of his chains swinging randomly about his chest and back. He didn't have a shirt on... I don't know why I'm mentioning that.
"Well..." coaxed Marthus, "where are they?"
Doumli, still breathing heavily, replied, "In a tree."
"Damnit!" she replied. "We need to go get them."
"They're fine."
"Doumli, how many times have I had to reset a bone because Randil fell out of a tree?"
"I don't know. A few. But don't worry, they're perfectly safe right now. They'll be back in a few minutes."
She groaned but eventually accepted the situation and went back to pounding on her chain. In the end she turned out to be one of the ones who broke through.
Randil came jogging back toward our gathering about ten minutes later. The fact that he was no longer attached to Gidemede or Eistee stunned many of us. Randil was not even wearing a neck cuff anymore.
By the time he had caught his breath, the boys had returned, still chained together, carrying a bundle of odd looking pine needles.
"We figured out how to jimmy the locks open," Randil announced. "Actually the kids finally did it. They say it takes two people-I don't know."
Almost immediately, Eistee and Gidemede sat down, set their needles on a rock, selected one for each, and began picking at the keyhole on Eistee's neck cuff. 
"What were you doing taking my son up a tree while your necks are chained together?" Marthus asked Randil. "You could have killed him!" 
"We needed something strong enough to hold in the locks. Needles like those can be found only in the higher areas of that particular type of pine tree. We're trying to help get these locks off." He glared at her, and she seemed to back down. 
After a time, Gidemede called Randil to help with the lock picking. It took almost a half hour to break Eistee's cuff, after Randil received a great deal of coaching. When it dropped to the ground, Eistee leapt to his feet and danced, air-punching to display his excitement. Only a few moments later he calmed himself and sat down with Gidemede to work on Siesu's cuff. Together, they popped hers in fifteen minutes. 
About this time people started seriously suggesting that we get moving, for safety's sake. Doumli jumped on this idea, as he clearly was becoming paranoid in that spot. With his encouragement we packed everyone up in just a few minutes and started moving. With the advent of the lock picking, we did not need to worry about banging our rocks and could leave the streambed. The problem was that Eistee and Gidemede were the only two with hands small and nimble enough to actually accomplish the deed.
We walked for about two hours, and found ourselves spreading out as we walked. This made a few of us nervous, as though there would be carathlings lurking in the bushes waiting to grab us in small groups. If the carathlings came for us, they would rush our group, throwing darts by the handful, in which case we would be safer with a little distance between us. That's my logic, anyway.
But we did not run into any carathlings today. 
Instead, Shimli and Mieleen found a cave, and called the rest of us back to check it out. A few climbed up the side of the hill and entered, then returned a few minutes later to suggest using the cave as a hideout for the night. We held a vote, but it was already getting dark and most people were ready to crash for the night. It took some time to haul everyone and all our equipment up the hill, but once inside the cave we thought it would be quite comfortable. We gathered leaves from trees growing just outside the entrance and made beds for ourselves. Many of us fell asleep. I tried for quite some time, but Eistee and Gidemede were still trying to free others from the cuffs. They had been working almost constantly, growing clearly more and more tired, but not any quieter.
Hopefully writing the second half of today's entry has cleared my mind so that now I can sleep.

Allihence, July 5
I woke up to find Eistee and Gidemede picking at my own cuff. I stirred, breaking their concentration.
"Damnit!" Eistee said, throwing down the end of a broken needle. He looked up as we both noticed Reesana awakening nearby. He quieted. "Keep perfectly fucking still," he said, adjusting the lantern. Eistee leaned close to my face to pinch the remainder of the pine needle from the lock. He then grabbed another one. Gidemede joined and they immediately started working, at times pressing their heads against mine. 
"Thanks for doing this," I said. "You've both been awake for quite some time." I looked into Eistee's eyes, bloodshot and blinking dramatically. "You look tired. How many more-"
"Shut up," said Eistee. A moment later: "Damnit! Broke another one." He turned to grab one more and seemed to notice the fact that they were running out.
"How many do you have left?" I asked.
"Not enough," he replied.
"Not at the rate we're breaking them," Gidemede put in, shaking his head.
"You need to shut up too," Eistee said. 
"What did I say? I said 'we'."
"I know what you meant."
"I wasn't implying anything!" Gidemede protested.
"Maybe the two of you should go to bed," I suggested. "Perhaps you would be less likely to break them once you've had a good night's rest."
"Not a good idea," Eistee replied. "We need to get yours off, then we have three more people. Then we can sleep."
"We can't make it through three more locks," Gidemede said. "I'm getting tired and you're getting cranky. My eyes keep drooping. I didn't get a good night's sleep last night either. I say we do Alli's and call it a night."
"Shut up. Let's just do this. Hold the lantern, Allihence... up... right here. And be quiet. Hold still."
It felt a little funny taking orders from someone so young, but I was quite ready to be done with that neck chain. 
I held still, barely daring to blink the sleep from my eyes. They worked for approximately twenty-five minutes and popped the lock. 
I felt an incredible weight literally lift from my shoulders. I stood and raised my arms, silently celebrating as to not awaken any others. Taking a deep breath I wondered if freedom had ever felt so invigorating or refreshing. Running to the cave's opening, my head started to spin from the excitement.
I stepped outside for several moments, noticing the sun just starting to come up on the horizon.
I returned to find Eistee and Gidemede working on Reesana's cuff. "It's later than I thought," I told them. "The sun should be coming up very soon."
"You should go to bed," Reesana said. "Forget about me. You'll have better success if you get some sleep."
"The faster we get these chains off everyone, the faster we'll be on the road and heading over the mountains to the human sanctuary town."
Reesana laughed. "Sorry honey, we're not crossing the mountains until after winter. We're going to find a place to camp for a few months before we make the cross. We can take as much time as we'd like now, as long as the carathlings don't find us."
"What?" Eistee's mouth dropped. "I thought it would take a couple weeks to reach the mountains and we could make it over before this coming winter."
She shook her head. "It'll take two months to reach the foothills. We'll camp there at the base, then start up very early in the spring so that we'll cross the most hazardous part during the summer."
"You stupid bitch!" he shouted, and immediately, everyone in the cave was awake. "How do you expect we elude the carathling's for a year? We don't stand a chance staying in one place... do we? I don't think we do-I'm sorry." He paused. "I'm sorry, Reesana." He dropped his needle on the ground and picked up a large rock. As he headed for the door, he threw it against the cave wall and it bounced out the opening. "Fuck!" he shouted. He turned the corner and we heard him scream again. 
"Well if I wasn't awake before I am now," I heard Faielus say from over my shoulder.
Marthus groaned and rose to follow Eistee.
"Yup, I think he's ready for bed," Gidemede said, and for some reason got a good laugh.
I fell back asleep a short while later.
I would be curious to find out what Marthus said to her son, but several hours later, when I awoke again, everything seemed normal. It turned out that a number of others had not realized that we would need to wait through winter before crossing the pass. This caused an extra amount of anxiety today.
The question, How do we avoid detection for a whole year sitting on the west side of the mountains? is a very reasonable one, and all we've been able to say so far is, "hopefully we will find a very secluded camping spot."
Eistee and Gidemede awoke only a short while after I, and went right back to work on the cuffs.
We held a vote and after much unnecessary arguing finally decided to start moving again. The cave did not seem to be as comfortable or spacious as we thought. And probably not as safe.
We spent only a few hours walking and found a small meadow tucked between a couple hills. There's even a stream with fish. Lots of big fish. We spent a few hours spreading out, collecting nuts, berries, leaves, roots, etc. Markull and Randil built a fire, and in a few minutes we shall be having a feast.
First freedom, now food. I've taken both for granted most of my life, but now it seems different somehow. I think this will be the best meal I have ever eaten. 
Eistee and Gidemede are currently working on Siesu's cuff, who is their very last subject. When they finish with her, their job will be done, and they shall eat before all others. We're all pretty proud of those two boys. Randil found them more needles so they didn't need to worry about breaking them, but they have been working pretty much non-stop for almost a full day taking breaks only to sleep, and follow the group to our new camp.
So now we are free... Siesu's cuff just broke so she is included... what we are going to do with this freedom, I'm not sure, but it's going to be interesting. 

Allihence, July 6
Today has been a good day.
	We decided to allow Eistee and Gidemede to sleep as long as they wished, before moving on, as everyone could see they were quite exhausted. A few arguments began when they continued sleeping into the early afternoon. A few were still afraid that the carathlings were close on our trail. We sent out a half dozen scouts to climb the trees on the surrounding hills to look for signs of carathlings. They all returned within a couple hours to say that they had seen nothing. Nevertheless, Randil volunteered to hold a longer watch and wound up sitting in a tree for the last six hours, and who knows how much longer.
The abundance of fish in our stream is also a definite reason for staying here another day. We all got our fill yesterday, but we've all continued eating all day today, and more than half of us spent a good portion of the day collecting more food and preparing for another feast this evening. I only worry about the smoke from the fires.
	
I started to think that we have a right to our own lives. I'm coming to realize that now. We are free willed creatures. By escaping the carathlings we are in essence, murdering 36 carathi's by denying them hosts, but at the same time we are only doing what is natural. One species cannot own another, regardless of biological necessities.
	We need to maintain our freedom... but sometimes it's scary to think about how far we might need to go.

Allihence, July 7
I awoke this morning to a hand pressed tight against my mouth. After a split second of panic, I looked up to see Oreiono with a finger over his lips. Releasing my mouth he moved so that I could sit up. He whispered in my ear, "The carathlings are near. Shimli saw them. They have lantras with them-the kind with the hearing. Just a few of them, supposedly. No dogs. They can't track our smell but we need to be quiet and we need to get the hell out of here. Shimli thinks they're heading in this direction. Write this down, Alli. The lantras listen for voices so we'll need to communicate on paper only for a while. I think they're getting closer every minute. Start waking people up, show them what you've written-"
	"What's going on?" Eistee's voice. "What are you whispering about?"
	Oreiono put his finger to his mouth angrily and Eistee immediately shut up. I handed him the note I had written and he nodded, a look of panic crossing his face for a moment. He looked up and seemed to absorb Oreiono's perspective, calm, yet alert.
	I began waking people up. It took far longer than I expected as I had to wake each person individually, then wait for them to understand the situation. Eistee copied my note word for word and started waking people. It took almost ten minutes before everyone was up.
	Zerimile did a head count, then a recount. He gestured. A three and a four. One short. 
	And I suddenly saw the wide-eyed fear in our group. We couldn't leave until we had everyone, and for several long moments, no one knew just who was gone.
Eistee took off running. Mieleen and Shimli started to follow but seemed worried about the sound of their footsteps, though voices are much more of a concern when being tracked by lantras.
Marthus said, "What are you-" but she caught herself from saying more, shaking her fist silently instead.
We all seemed to realize at the same time that it was Randil who was missing, probably still sound asleep in his tree.
Eistee disappeared into the forest and we waited. A few started walking north, attempting to start the troop early, but Zerimile waved them back.
	It took only about five minutes for Eistee to awaken Randil and bring him back, but not having any more information about the whereabouts of the carathlings made the wait seem quite longer.
	Once they were in sight and on the ground, we started moving. We left our little campsite without even saying goodbye to the fish or the fire pits.
	We walked quietly, nervously, tiptoeing at times, for almost five hours. Randil finally found a reasonable lookout tree that would allow him "perfect vision" as he called it, 360 degrees around. Upon his return to the ground, he announced aloud that there were no carathlings in sight, probably none for many kilometers.
	"We can speak now! Hooray for words!" I heard someone say. But our paranoia stayed with us anyway and we said almost nothing to each other for the rest of the day and even now, as most of our group is gathered around a campfire, we are not speaking to one-another. Even sneezes and coughs are carefully held in.
	It seems as though some of our nerves were fried from our close encounter-even though most of us never saw one of the carathlings that were supposed to be attempting to track us. 

We have had a couple conversations about our direction and destination. We've been heading northwest, approximately, but the mountains are to the east. We're supposed to be heading toward the pass, but our instincts seem to be guiding us westward, toward the ocean, which we happen to be used to. Some have complained of feeling homesick for the waves, the saltwater, that smell of sea life.
	This side of the mountains is supposed to be much denser in population than the eastern side, and far more controlled by the carathlings and it seems to me that we probably don't stand a good chance of hiding out for three months while we wait for the snow to melt over the pass.
	Anyway... we haven't decided yet. The plan is still to head east and cross the pass next spring, but more and more, people are starting to have doubts.

Doumli, July 7
Hello. My name is Doumli. I'm a part of the group of thirty-five free-range humans from Seneika. I'm a little frustrated with the rest of the group right now, and thought it would help to write some of this down. 
	I asked Alli to let me read her journal so far and I found myself a little disappointed that it doesn't discuss the politics or strategies of this whole situation, as there are a lot of them. Alli seems more interested in relaying the facts, and simply describing the major events.
	If we want this plan to succeed, there are a great number of decisions we need to be making. We need to be discussing them and thinking about them, because there isn't going to be any time for it when we're sprinting away from some random group of carathling hunters. We need to figure out what we're going to do if we all get separated, how we're going to react if we are suddenly ambushed, what to do if we come across carathling travelers. What do we do if just a few of us are captured, and how do we make certain no one will give up the rest of us if that does happen, and how do we explain our actions in logical, moral terms? There's endless numbers of questions like this that need to be discussed as a group and we don't seem to be doing it. 
	I think we need to come up with some sort of hand codes to use if we become fearful of lantras once again... something simplistic that everyone could understand quickly... I don't know... that all seems pretty far fetched now that I see it on paper... if everyone were like me and Alli, we could do it... but that isn't quite the case.
	We need some sort of leader. Someone to take authority and motivate people to start making these decisions or at least discussing them. I think I could do it, but I'm not sure if I'm ready yet. The problem is that no one else is taking any initiative.
	I'm also worried that a leader would take things too far. I think I'd be able to restrain myself, and always ask for a vote on everything. We'd need to be very careful as to who we pick as leader--someone who isn't too self-motivated.
	This is kind of funny--on one hand I'm feeling terribly frustrated with the lack of discussion and I keep thinking that we could be doing things so much better, so much safer, in so many ways, and so frequently I have to bite my lip to keep from calling someone stupid; and on the other hand I'm having the greatest time of my life. Whether we're busted or not, I'm going to remember this till my death. I'm so old for a human--almost nineteen years and it feels like my life is just beginning--
	It doesn't just feel like my life is just beginning--if this escapade of ours actually succeeds, this truly will be the beginning of a new life for me. For all of us.
	
Allihence, July 8
"All right," Faielus said, "Where the hell are we going? Who is leading this troop, anyway?"
"I'd like to be leader," answered Doumli.
A few laughed, but others looked around questioningly.
"Not a leader like a dictator," said Doumli. "But perhaps we should have one person to streamline the decisions of the group, someone who will listen to every voice."
	"Zerimile is a much better choice," Belinir put in.
	Zerimile agreed with that statement, and another argument broke out.
"What makes you think you have enough leadership skills to maintain this group-to decide the best road for us-?"
"I will consult with people as you would," replied Zerimile. 
"But hey... we're not trying to start a government here. We're a bunch of humans escaping the carathlings. Is it a good idea to have a hard and fast leader?"
"I'd make a great leader," Zeremile replied. "This group needs a sense of direction."
"If we're going to have one person lead us," I said, "we need a vote. Perhaps we should vote as to whether or not we need a leader at all."
And the argument subsided. We held a vote. About two-thirds of the group wanted someone appointed to organize the decision-making processes. The rest seemed undecided.
Voting for the people themselves was a little trickier. The votes were scattered across the group. We probably should have stated that a person could not vote for themselves. Doumli received nine votes, and Zerimile ten. 
So supposedly Zerimile is our leader. We haven't treated him like it yet. It seems strange to simply pick a person to trust and look up to, especially when we've known him as a friend for so long. We'll see how long it works out. 

Marthus asked me to join her on a short walk to the woods just after I finished the last paragraph. We wandered only a short distance before she started talking about Eistee.
"He keeps running around without thinking," she whispered. "I thought he was going to get us all busted when he ran after that tree. Then to climb the thing. Eistee doesn't have that much climbing experience, and he's going up something as tall as what Randil sleeps in-that's terrifying, Alli, as a mother. He won't listen to me when I'm concerned for him. His father was traded over a year ago and I haven't really been able to communicate with him since. But what can I do, when he's helped us out so much already?"
"You should be proud of him," I replied, keeping a whisper, despite my lack of concern. "So far he hasn't done anything stupid. That's the important part. He knew it would be more time consuming and dangerous to ask someone before heading up the tree. Lantras focus more on voices than footsteps. Eistee's still pretty light, but he's strong. He probably is the best tree climber in our group besides Randil so it seems logical to me that he would be the one to fetch him."
She nodded. "Do you really think that he thought all of that through? My boy can be pretty impulsive."
"True," I said. "Is it worth it to worry over it, though? We're all watching out for him too."
She nodded and sighed as we sat down on a log. 
"Have you talked to him about this?" I asked. 
"I tried. He wouldn't let me speak. He just kept saying 'if I did it for the group it's not wrong' and wouldn't let me get anything out. I think Randil told him to feed me that nonsense."
I looked up sharply. "It's not nonsense, Marthus. None of us stand a chance out here on our own. If we stick together, we might have a chance of getting a decent percentage of us over that pass and into a secure freedom. We're all going to need to make sacrifices and take risks for each other. That's part of the game."
She sat and stared for a moment. Nodding, she said, "You have a point... I don't know... maybe I'm just paranoid in general about this whole thing. I don't know what they'll do to us if we get caught and I think it would be extra bad if it was my own son who screwed up and made it happen because I couldn't keep a handle on him."
"Like I said, we're all watching out for him," I replied. "If you can't give him the benefit of the doubt then give it to the rest of us. We won't let him do anything crazy."
"Okay. Thanks, Alli."
"I didn't do anything," I said at a level just under normal speaking voice.
She rested her chin in her hands for a time and stared. "What do you suppose they'd do to us if the carathlings finally caught us?"
"Probably turn us into carathlings, just like their original plan," I said.
"What if some of them are so mad that they take revenge on us?" Marthus suggested.
I shrugged.
"Do you really understand how selfish we're being here?" she asked. "I'm not saying we shouldn't be doing this, but we've got to recognize how incredibly selfish this is." She paused. "I think we may have killed someone when we escaped."
"What makes you say that?"
"We were pretty violent, Alli. I saw a little blood myself."
"Nothing that serious, though," I said.
"They were far away from medical attention."
I nodded and sighed. "I don't know."
"I've heard that sometimes when you kill a carathling, the carathi can survive and be transplanted to another host. If that happened to one of those, he could be coming for us." She nodded gravely. "He would be out for revenge."
I laughed. "That's ridiculous. Now you're getting paranoid."
She laughed softly but cut herself short as we heard a low murmuring, followed by a shuffling and more murmuring, vaguely forming the words, "they were far away from medical attention... I've heard sometimes when you kill a carathling..." I felt my face grow suddenly hot, as a look of complete terror crossed hers. "Lantras," she mouthed. I nodded, noticing my beating heart, as though it encompassed my entire body, pounding through every artery. 
And we heard more shuffling in the bushes and two figures emerged, holding ferns in front of their faces. Marthus rose and turned to run, but I caught her, grabbing her wrist, my first thought being that if these were our captors and there were lots of them, we needed to lead them away from our camp, in hopes that the lantras would focus on us and not notice the rest of our group.
But I noticed immediately that there were no lantras and that the murmuring was actually coming from one of the figures running toward us. Realizing they were from our own group, we relaxed and let them approach.
Faielus removed the ferns from his face. "Surprise," he said softly. "We could hear you way down the hill, thought we'd give you a little scare." He looked at us. "You weren't scared?" 
Marthus grabbed the branches from Mitheu, Faielus' partner in the joke, and tossed them on the ground. "That wasn't very nice," she said sternly, though quietly.
They grinned and nodded. "We do still need to be quiet out here," Faielus said. "We don't know just how far the carathlings are, or how many of them would be looking for us, especially when it's this dark out and the lookouts don't have much range."
"I hope they don't pick up any dogs along the way," Marthus whispered.
"Yup," said Faielus. "That would be a pain, to cover our smell plus our voices." And Faielus and Mitheu headed quickly away, back down the hill toward our camp, as though they no longer wished to speak of the dangers that we are currently facing. 
I did not speak to Marthus much after that. We came back and I started writing again. 
But now I am starting to grow a little more paranoid. Usually writing helps clear my mind and calm my nerves, but now that I've put all of that down I need to think about it. 
What if the carathlings pick up dogs along the way? How are we going to cover ourselves then? We can wade down streams only so far. And what if the carathlings do something more than just forcing their carathi eggs upon us immediately upon our capture. What if they really are mad enough to severely take vengeance? I don't know. I think Marthus' attitude is wearing off on me. 

Allihence, July 9
We all seemed a little less paranoid in the morning. A few scouts, Steener, Stinli, and Siesu, set out early in the morning in various directions and returned several hours later to report no sign of approaching carathlings.
"So, mister leader," I said to Zerimile shortly after our morning meal, "where shall we be heading today. Have you gotten any ideas?"
"Actually," he replied, "Reesana mentioned an idea to me. We need to work out some of the details. Apparently there is a block of land about two days north that is rarely visited by carathlings due to some flesh eating plants that grow on its boundaries."
"Flesh eating plants?" I asked.
"Eitchu trees, they're called. They're not actually trees, though as they grow underground and only pop up to eat small animals. Gamoro claims that he has a maneuver that can get us through, however. I'm thinking I might lead our group to the edge at least to scope out the situation and see if we could get through. I don't know much about these plants, but I do know that you can't take animals across a strip of Eitchu trees. If we made it through we'd be safe from both dogs and lantras, and totally isolated. We could stay there for a month or more before crossing the river and heading east again."
I nodded, thankful that now we had a solid plan.
"I suppose I should make some sort of announcement... maybe I'll wait until I have a chance to discuss this with Gamoro a little more in-depth."
"I won't mention anything," I said.
"Well... I don't want to keep secrets from the group... but I don't want to worry anyone needlessly. Right now we should just get up and start heading north. I think we should start moving. Do you think everyone's ready to go, Alli?"
"They won't be ready until you tell them to be ready."
"Right. I'm the leader. Right."
So he stood and eventually started everyone moving. I walked near Zerimile for a while hoping he would talk to Gamoro about the deadly plants we were thinking of crossing. Zerimile, however, seemed lost in thought, and the group still seemed very quiet, though not as nervous.
I decided to talk to Gamoro myself a little later. "So," I said, "What's an eitchu tree?"
"Underground man-eating vine," he replied. "They only grow in certain sandy areas with belts of nutrients below-that's the theory anyway. They grow in strips of many kilometers. I'm not sure how to describe one... I've only seen a couple sketches of them... they're like giant mouths that come out of the sand when you step near. Most are only large enough to swallow a dog, but can be extremely damaging if you get a leg caught."
"And we're thinking of crossing a strip like this?" I asked.
"Thinking about it," he replied. "There is a technique that I know of to scout the area to find a safe path through. The problem is that it's difficult to tell where the vines end and begin, as the mouths are often covered with sand before you ever see them."
"Is it safe?" I asked.
He laughed. "Now there's a loaded question. I don't know. The main problem is convincing animals to remain calm, but of course we have no animals. We'll have to remain calm ourselves. I figure it could take several hours to work our way across a strip like Reesana was talking about. I think I could do it. I'd probably need to lead."
"We should do it then," I said.
"Well, I think we're going to need to take a vote on it once we get closer."
"If it will take us out of range of the carathlings' tracking animals, I think it would be worth the risk. It would ease a lot of paranoia to be on the other side of that strip. I think we need to go with whatever is least likely to get us caught."
"Well, you can argue that point when it comes time."
About midday someone spotted a tree-cow, which is quite similar to a grass-cow, though it's neck tilts upwards and eats leaves and vines. Oreiono led the hunt, leaving everyone behind except Belinir, Markull, Siesu, Randil, and Mandi. 
They were gone for almost two hours. The rest of us started getting restless, but they finally returned, reporting that they had surrounded and killed the beast, some distance down the hills. It took a half hour for the group to move the carcass, finding it on a steep slope. We dragged the cow down into a valley near a stream. I helped collect wood and start a fire, while Sleiphoni and Stinli started butchering the animal. The problem is that we have no knives. They're trying to cut it apart with sticks, rocks, their bare hands, and their teeth. They've already extracted a good amount of meat and we've already made a decent stew with some vegetables and roots we've found around the area, but Stinli and Sleiphoni are still working on that cow, flinging blood in every direction. I had to move away as I don't need more bloodstains on my diary. They're becoming frustrated and tearing at it quite violently-and they got a drop on my book anyway.
I'm going to quit now and eat some meat.

Gamoro, July 9
I've noticed a few others sitting and writing once in a while, so I thought I'd try just writing to help myself think, instead of for a real, or physical purpose. All thirty-five of us have more to think about now than ever before. 
	I wonder if this is going to help.
	I'm a little stressed right now, because I recommended to Zerimile that we should cross a strip of eitchu plants in order to make certain that we weren't still being tracked. I've also recommended that we not tell the rest of the group, because the plants supposedly have the ability to smell fear. Certain advanced species can even throw thorns laden with a powerful sedative... I think the carathlings may collect thorns to make the darts they use to keep us in line. It's all just theories, though. I haven't studied eitchus very much.
	The overall mood of the group seems to have improved the last few days. We're making excellent time, according to Reesana, and our energy seems to have returned in full force since we have been eating so well lately. Most of the group is singing songs as I write this. Me, however... I am too stressed about this to sing.
	What if it turns out to be a mistake? They'll all look at me and ask "Why Gamoro? Why did you do it? Why didn't you tell us? You cannot trust us to understand ourselves?"
	Perhaps they would put all the blame on Zerimile. Perhaps we would wind up voting him out of leadership, once we got to the other side, even if nobody got hurt... no, probably not. I don't know why I'm writing right now. There's really nothing to worry about... I wouldn't be doing this if I wasn't confident...
	But there's still things to worry about.
	To hell with it. This isn't helping. 


Allihence, July 10
Shortly after dinner, Gamoro came to talk to me again. "I've been thinking," he said quietly. "The eitchu trees are supposed to have some abnormal chemical senses." He motioned for me to walk with him and I followed.
"They smell fear," he said, after distancing ourselves from the rest of the group. "I realized that it's not a good idea for you to tell people about our plans to cross the strip. We're going to tell them at the last possible moment, so no one has time to cycle their fears. Hopefully no one has heard of these plants before. It's for everyone's safety. If we remain calm while crossing we won't have any problem."
So I agreed not to tell anyone about our plans. I'm not sure if that's the right thing to do. Just because we elected a leader, doesn't mean he should have absolute control over our party, but in this situation, I think it is the safest choice-in the long run, anyway. 

So today we walked. That's about it. We walked, talked, and collected nuts, berries and leaves for a strangely filling vegetarian lunch and dinner. 
Oh yes-we've been running into some long and stringy red berries that no one has been able to identify. This morning Auroarla ate some, stating that they were quite tasty. She swallowed nearly a full handful, as a test for edibility.
Fortunately, she was the only test subject. 
Less than an hour after eating them, she began reporting strange sensations, "In my head" as she put it. "I feel funny," I heard her say, as I walked nearby, "like I have all this energy but don't know what to do with it. I feel hungry but sick at the same time... maybe more sick..."
And she turned away from the line, vomiting unexpectedly into the bushes. She stood for several minutes, coughing. The group continued past her, but I remained to offer her some water. A few moments later we started walking again. "That was unpleasant," she said. "Hopefully that won't happen again."
But half an hour later, she was hunched again in the bushes. "The verdict is in," she said upon her return, "The red mystery berries are not to be eaten." 
After her second vomiting, Auroarla began walking faster, determined not to hold up the group. She moved to the front for a time, then stopped to puke. The line moved past and she started walking again at the end of the line. "I need to eat something too," she said after gulping from a canteen, "Need to dilute the poison."
But even after eating a small meal, things were not right. Auroarla stopped to vomit at least half a dozen times. "I certainly don't enjoy relieving my guts," she told me, "but once I'm walking again, I feel fine." She paused. "My head spins."
We offered, on numerous occasions, to slow down for her, but she refused. By the evening, though, her headspace seemed to be coming back to normal. We stopped early, as we had made very good time. A few wanted to keep moving, but Zerimile convinced them otherwise, "We're all a lot more tired than we think. There's no point pushing ourselves."
We had come out of the forest for a time and into a wide grassy area, covered with rolling hills. The mountains look enormous from here. Now I'm glad that we're not attempting to cross until spring. I feel the trek is going to be far harsher than any of us realize.
"We're too exposed here, Zerimile," Doumli stated. "Why in the hell are we stopping here?"
"Because this is where we have decided to stop," Zerimile replied.
"What does that mean? There's not even a stream nearby. Where are you leading us, Zerimile?"
"We're heading north-east for the time."
"Well, I think we should continue for another hour or two, get back into the woods and find a better camping spot."
"And I think we should camp here," Zerimile replied flatly. "We're very tired. Auroarla is sick. We all think that this is the spot to stop, so this is where we shall stop."
"I think this leadership role is getting to your head," Doumli commented. "But whatever... I don't care. We can do what you want." 
Of course, we simply listened to Zerimile because we didn't know what else to do. Many of us felt like continuing, but few expressed the desire aloud.
So here we sit. The grass turns into sand only a short distance away. Tomorrow, bright and early, we will be crossing the strip of eitchu trees, almost a kilometer wide, though no one has any idea...

Allihence, July 11
We set out early, quickly munching what food was leftover from yesterday's hike (which wasn't a good idea). 
We walked for less than half an hour before entering the sandy stretch that seemed to go on forever. I noticed Gamoro sampling a handful of sand, awkwardly clinging to five strong sticks, one almost six meters long. Several minutes later he yelled, "Stop!"
Zerimile repeated his order. "We need to pause for a moment," he announced. "We're entering a challenging area, but Gamoro has some expertise and is going to lead us through it."
Gamoro stepped forward. "I need Randil, Markull, you Zerimile, and... Allihence. Come here. All of you."
We stepped forward. Strangely, at this point I did not feel even slightly nervous. It was a foolproof plan, I thought.
Gamoro continued, "there are underground plants in this area that may bite at your feet. We will walk in pairs of two, with one person trailing the end. Everyone needs to find a partner that they are comfortable walking with for an extended period of time. We're going to need to keep our places no matter what. This is very important! You must remain in double file no matter what happens. If someone steps out of line, they might notice us and begin shifting in our direction-that's very unlikely but we need to be careful. The most important thing is to remain calm and allow my team to clear a safe path. All you folks need to do is follow the lines." 
So Gamoro's confidence seemed to have returned. He'd been fairly quiet ever since the meteor shower and didn't seem too thrilled to be leading the troop across the eitchu trees, but now he grinned widely and spoke loud and fluidly, as though he'd mustered all his wits and focus for that speech.
"All, right," he continued, turning to Randil and Markull. "The two of you will walk behind Alli and Zerimile." He handed each a short stick. "You two will mark the edges of the safe path. I will walk in front." Gamoro handed the two medium sized sticks to Zerimile and I, keeping the extra-long one for himself. "Let's get started!" 
He turned, and for a split second met my eyes. He let out a breath and turned away quickly, as though I would see something behind his confident appearance. 
Gamoro started walking, swinging his stick in a great ark before him, disturbing the sand every inch of the way. He moved slowly at first. "Follow me, Zerimile, Alli. Do the same thing that I'm doing, but more to the sides. At some point the ground will open up and a big mouth will try to eat your stick. You'll need to be fast. We have a few extra, but there's going to be a lot more of these plants than we have sticks."
He began moving a little more swiftly, occasionally directing our movements. "Randil, Markull, make certain to trace a solid line in the sand a meter or so in from the outer reaches of Alli and Zerimile's sticks." He paused for a moment, stood to face the group, who had already begun following us into the sandy region. "Stay inside the lines!" he shouted. "Stay inside the lines!" And he immediately began sweeping again. 
We moved steadily for almost an hour before finally hitting something. Zerimile yelled, jerked backwards, bumping me, keeping hold of his stick. "Shit! There's one," he said, as the ground opened up, revealing a round mouth two meters large, covered inside with rows of thorns. It did not rise from the sand, but simply twitched, sand rushing into its mouth at a couple points.  
"Careful," Gamoro said. "We'll start running into them more frequently now. Don't push each other."
"Hey!" I heard Doumli's voice from a couple rows back. "Those are eitchu trees! Do you know why they are called eitchu trees? Because they eat you!"
"Nonsense!" Gamoro shouted back. "If everyone remains calm, they're nothing more than common scenery!"
"Whatever! People who cross the strips don't come back, you idiots!"
And Zerimile turned. "Hey! Shut up!" he shouted. "This is neither the time nor the place."
And Doumli quieted himself. But the damage had been done. 
Gamoro paused. "I'll bet they can hear our voices too..." he said, shaking out his hands and arms.
"Just keep moving," I said. "It's all good. We're doing fine. If we keep moving steady-"
"Right." And he started moving again, more quickly this time, dragging his giant stick back and forth. We continued for a time before running into more mouths. I hit one first, a larger one this time, and had to step backward to avoid it. Up close it did not seem at all like a plant and certainly not like any tree I'd ever seen. The thorns were a bright white, and lined like teeth. The upper edges of the mouth appeared fleshy, almost like lips, and the trickles of sand disappeared down a throat that seemed to sink forever into the ground. 
The mouths became more and more frequent. Gamoro began running into most of them. We were forced to turn our procession numerous times, to walk around mouths. After another half hour of trekking, they started becoming extra dense, opening up at almost every turn. Gamoro began leading us on increasingly complex trails, back and forth, around the denser sections.
I began to notice Gamoro's nerves. I can't say it was really my sixth sense that told me he was freaking out, but I looked up knowing something was wrong, noticed the sweat glimmering in the baking sun, dripping from his forehead and cheeks and noticed